Sexual Abuse Support Group
Sexual abuse is a relative cultural term used to describe sexual relations and behavior between two or more parties which are considered criminally and/or morally offensive. Different types of sexual abuse involve: Non-consensual, forced physical sexual behavior such as rape, incest or sexual assault, or psychological forms of abuse, such as verbal sexual behavior or...
I'm new to this site. I was sexually abused by my older cousin and older brother when I was around 6 years old. I don't really remember everything, as I tend to block it from my mind. At the time though, I was under the impression that these things were normal. Now when I think about it, I blame myself for not doing anything to stop this. I sometimes wonder if it was my fault these things happen, did I initiate these activities? I have no idea, but it makes me feel gross. I remember telling my cousin that this was happening to me when I was younger, but they didn't believe me. They wouldn't sexually abuse me together, these were 2 separate times and it happened continously. We didn't have sex, but they would touch me and make me touch them. I have never told anyone this, and I'm still in contact with my older brother. They were both about 12 years old when this happened. I kind of just figured I would just forget this ever happened and not mention it to anyone, but I'm kind of scared this has affected me on a deeper level. I'm not sure what to do or how to go about dealing with this, but I'm glad to be able to express myself here.
Thanks
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I feel so dirty and used I was drunk and passed out at a party when I came around some guy was on top of me rapeing me he covered my mouth and told me to shut up afterwards he got up and got dressed and said I better not tell anyone I found my friend and reported that I had been raped after having medical checks and them getting DNA I've taken the morning after pill IAM just so depressed and...
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Upon his departure, he remarked, "I am in many people’s pockets; no one will believe you." Have you ever grappled with the silence that follows sexual assault, where the perceived impossibility of being believed necessitates self-censorship?
I think that every survivor of childhood sexual abuse starts out thinking that it was their fault, that maybe they asked for it or deserved it somehow. This seems to be part of how a child's mind works, or maybe the abuser encourages us to think so. Somebody told me it gives the child a sense of control over the situation to believe that they are the cause of it. Whatever it is, the truth is that no child is ever responsible for being abused. Kids don't have that kind of power. The people who abused you were twice your age so clearly the responsibility lies with them.
If you feel that these experiences may have affected you on a deep level, you're probably right. It is incredibly damaging to a child. And there's a special quality of harm that occurs when the abusers are family members. Love, boundaries, love and abuse - all these things become confused. Sense of self and sense of self-worth are damaged.
The best thing would be to see a therapist to start healing from these experiences. I found one through RAINN.org. There is also a classic book on the subject that many, many people have found helpful, "Courage to Heal".
For me, coming on here and finding out that there are so many good people who have had similar experiences to mine has made a huge difference. It makes it less frightening to name what happened, makes it feel less freakishly abnormal, and also reduced my shame and made it easier to talk about with my therapist. I've also learned a lot from the people here. I you benefit from this place as much as I did.
You have posted here, I know this happened now and I believe you.
Often when abused as a child it affects us in adulthood. So a talking therapy may be useful.
I am sure there will be others who will post here and believe you too. This group is a good starting post.
Even when we block out what has happened to us it still affects us on a daily basis. Until we heal from what happened it will continue to interfere with our lives. It is possible to heal and go on to live a happy life. You deserve to heal so if you do not have a therapist I would urge you to consider going to one. Talking about the abuse and allowing yourself to feel the feelings is what will heal you. If you can't work with a therapist now then please keep coming here and talking to us. ((Hugs))