Sexual Abuse Support Group

Sexual abuse is a relative cultural term used to describe sexual relations and behavior between two or more parties which are considered criminally and/or morally offensive. Different types of sexual abuse involve: Non-consensual, forced physical sexual behavior such as rape, incest or sexual assault, or psychological forms of abuse, such as verbal sexual behavior or...

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suzieann 07/17/2008

I feel like I'm going crazy and crawling out of my skin. I can't get the flashbacks out of my head and they just came on while I was showering. I feel so trapped inside and need a release. I want to cut I want ED I want to smoke all of which I know I shouldn't and my roomate is home so the urge to cut alone in my room is screaming at me. I just want this out of my head I hate it and now new memories of the smells are overwhelming me and I haven't had had these memories of the smells before and don't know what to make of it. His hands are all over me and I can't get that out of my head! I HATE this I HATE ME!

deleted_user 07/17/2008

I'm so sorry you are going what you are going through. Are you seeing a therapist? Sweetie, the mind is a funny thing ... it tends to remember when you are stronger and can handle it. However you need help for your cutting and anything else your are doing to cause self harm ... along with the memories.

Remember, it was not your fault. You are guilty in no way. You are remembering things as a little girl would.

I hope you find some help because, I have and inkling that you are a true survivor.

peace and love ... Kyle Anne

suzieann 07/17/2008

Thanks Kyle Anne I am seeing a councilor at the recovery center I go to for my eating disorder and we are starting to deal with the memories. Well kind of but I keep trying to avoid and ignore it.

deleted_user 07/17/2008

This sounds just awful, I am so sorry to hear this. Try to stay focused eventhough you are tempted...you will feel even stronger in the end. Have you tried EMDR, it is like difusing memories with benign thoughts. Your therapist does it. It worked well for me...unitl I heard new info. from my daughter...then I went back...and all better. I am so proud of your strength and courage...you need not hate yourself, you are a good person. Don't talk about my friend like that! LOL. It'll be better, always here for you, G

deleted_user 07/17/2008

hi hun,
sorry you have to relive your abuse. its a crappy situation. im not sure how u can overcome this. I guess try to distract urself as much as you can. expose your senses to something different, something pleasant (incense, scented candles?). Have u tried meditation. I havent tried it myself but one simple way is to lie or sit comfortably and concentrate on your breathing. try not to let other thoughts enter your mind, just focus on your breathing.
try not to hate yourself. you have done nothing wrong. you are a wonderful person that had something bad happen to them.
wish I could say more. take care

deleted_user 07/17/2008

I don't really have anything new to add here... I just want you to know that you are not alone. Please please don't hurt yourself. Please talk to you councilor about this... you need someone who is trained to help you through!

Hope and love

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