I have PTSD and yeah, nausea happens with flashbacks, for me, and anytime a memory comes, as well as other symptoms (I'm also diagnosed DID).

Writing about it helps and is a good exercise - good for you, for trying.

Maybe if you tell your therapist exactly what you've written today you may get farther than you think.

I don't know what your history is but it's important to listen to your body because it's often the case that sexual abuse survivors have lost touch with their bodies. So if your body is saying "no way, jose!" then maybe you're moving too fast?

Be gentle with yourself.

I have never spoken deeply about the sexual abuse, and seemed to get through counseling without having to. I also tried writing about it, but found it far too upsetting.....like yourself. I thought it was something I had to do, part of the road to recovery, but in my case, I didn't need it. In your case, its obviously something you feel you need to do.....I hope in time it will come.

I too have PTSD accompanying my sexual abuse. I find it extremely hard to talk about also. I find myself having flashbacks and getting nauseous as well. I couldn't even tell my therapist. I had to write it down and let her read it. We put it in a box so to speak and we agreed to talk about it when I feel the time is right. But each time I think about talking about it or begin to write about it, I find myself becoming very anxious and nauseous. I get very upset just writing about it. I hope in time we will be able to talk about it so we can begin to heal.

Could be that the feeling of unease (I'm way understating that I know) isn't just reserved for PTSD. Writing about it, talking about it, thinking about it, reliving it... all can bring up very strong emotions that you may not be prepared to handle, or that can generate extreme stress and very physical symptoms.

Obviously counseling can help navigate those emotions and help with PTSD. If that isn't an option, taking small steps like journaling/writing can certainly help. And you may find the next time you write, you can get a little farther before the physical symptoms close in.

Finally, to answer your specific question, I did and do have a hard time talking about it. The emotional/psychological defenses went up a long time ago for the very specific purpose of protecting me... from feeling, from thinking, from worrying, etc. Talking about it means intentionally dropping those defenses and allowing myself to feel... hard stuff. It's a bit like a test of wills, or courage. It'd like going to the zoo and standing in front of the lion's cage, putting on a Gaga meat suit and asking the keeper to open the gate. Except we won't be devoured, and you learn to tame the lion.

So much for poor analogies... you get the drift. It sounds like you're doing great, seek some professional guidance or help. I'm sure you'll get through.

I am with summerhues, I have never gone into detail with anyone about my sexual abuse.
I had a very great counselor for three years and she turned my life around. Writing is a very good release, but because your are telling about something so traumatic it will increase the memories. I was told to do writing, where I confront the abuser. That letter does not have to be sent (I wouldn't) I would burn it after. Again, in that letter, just say things like I cannot believe what you did to me, what you took away from me, how you ruined my life, not detailing specifics.............................
It takes alot of time, especially when your abuse is so new, but part of healing is to process it out, like chewing it up and spitting it out...............
Best of luck

Other than the authorities and people in the legal system, I have only actually spoken to less than 5 people about what happened to me growing up. I am a member of a support group in my city, and I havent yet had the courage to even tell them who my abuser was. Saying the words aloud is too much for me to take, and I freeze up or cry. I am right there with you, trying to work through it. I try to keep faith that someday I wont be so fearful in person.. but until then, Im starting off on this website. When I can talk on here, I will be able to start working toward talking in person with my group.