It would depend on how the stories are written. If they are written to show survival and strength, then I do not see a problem. However, I would put them in a different section with an introduction advising that the following material is graphic, and that should only be read by those that can handle it.

First thoughts:

* 55 stories - that's a lot! Maybe a smaller number selected for variety and range of experience?

* If the stories are so short, why focus so much on what happened rather than on what helped?

* Why would be the motive for including the stories and the graphic content?

* What could be the motive for reading such accounts? Could there be enough detail for someone to use it for perverted pleasure?

Another member sent me a section of their book, a little while back. It was a very vivid account of what happened to her, but actual act was expressed in just two or three words, none of which carried sexual potency. The sense of violation and abuse was very eloquently conveyed but there was nothing that could be used by anyone to 'get off'.

Maybe a more select group of longer stories, focussing on the feelings rather than the actions and empathising the recovery more than the abuse would be an option?

[I am a little hesitant posting this as I don't want to come across as telling you how to write your book or as questioning your motives. However, you did ask for thoughts and these are my immediate ones. I will consider it further and may post again if my thoughts significantly change.

For clarity, I'm not questioning your motives in writing such a book, but i do wonder as to the motives if some who may read it,]

irishette5 and drbeaker,

Thank you both for your helpful thoughts. I appreciate you taking the time to respond.

The stories, themselves are not written to show survival and strength but the rest of the book is. There is a caution introduction to this chapter as well as a grounding exercise to help those who decide to read this particular chapter.

irishette5, I like your idea of putting the abuse history in a different section of the book and though I have advised that the material is graphic, I think by putting it in a different part of the book emphasizes the fact that the vignettes could trigger.

drbeaker, you ask, "If the stories are so short, why focus so much on what happened rather than on what helped?"

I put the stories in the book to let survivors know that no matter what happened to them they can move from victim to survivor to thriver. I believe it's important to let survivors know exactly what the women I interviewed faced and how they healed in spite of it.

It is one chapter in the book with the three chapters immediately following the abuse history uplifting.

Although the abuse history is the hardest chapter in the book to read the remaining 16 chapters and workbook focus on the process of healing.

I don't want to whitewash or make incest or sexual abuse easy reading and know that you are not suggesting that, but I'm not sure how to go about writing one's history of abuse without "sexual potency" either.

Please don't hesitate to respond for I am guided by my internal Self and take offense at very little.

Thank you both for your helpful thoughts.
xx
SuzA

Hi Suz,

I guess my initial thoughts would be to use these stories as a way to show different kinds of sexual abuse, particularly the more covert kinds of things such as emotional incest.. The stories could illustrate how this kind of stuff worked. You might also want to include a story or two about ritualistic abuse, sexual neglect (parents not telling the children about reproduction and bodily changes that occur in the teen years), and/or parents who take their kids with them when they go to the nudist camp on the weekends. I guess what I'm getting at would be to let the stories introduce the readers to the particular type of abuse that the chapter in the book will address. Does that make any sense?

I think when you are talking about the less common kinds of things, having a story or two that explains how this type of abuse works might be a good way to begin the chapter -- with someone's story or history. Just a thought.

Charli,

I hadn't thought about having the stories do double duty and I think it's a brilliant idea. I want to keep the abuse stories in one place to minimize triggering and stress, but think I can group the stories under the types of abuse they represent and identify them as such.

As far as having an abuse story introduce each chapter, I have put my life out there but in a way I think helps rather than triggers. There is nothing really graphic in any of the short vignettes I have written, but I wanted to include them as a way to connect to the readers and each story is relevant to the chapter topic.

Charli, I am grateful for your suggestion and will start separating the stories based on the types of abuse they represent. Unfortunately, I interviewed many women who were ritual abuse survivors so will have many grouped under that topic.

Charli, thank you. You just made this book better and more useful to survivors. Hooray. Hooray. Hooray.

xx
SuzA

Oh, drbeaker I just re-read your post and saw that you were the first to suggest having the stories represent a "range of experience."

Sorry, I didn't pick up on that. When I read, "maybe a smaller number" I didn't connect the smaller number with the range--if that makes any sense.

When I saw my oversight, I wanted to thank you again and give you your due, so many,many thanks for a brilliant idea.

Regards,
SuzA

Hey Suz,

You're very welcome, glad I could help. I don't know how much you know about ritualistic abuse, but if you'd like to do some research on the subject to make the book a better read, might I suggest you try contacting Canadian researcher and therapist Colin A. Ross, M.D., Richard P. Kluft, M.D., past president of the International Society for the Study of Trauma and Dissociation (www.isst-d.org), Frank W. Putnam, M.D., and Cornelia Wilbur, M.D. You might also want to get hold of the book, "Breaking the Circle of Satanic Ritual Abuse: Recognizing and Recovering From the Hidden Trauma" by Daniel Ryder. The book can be purchased from: www.amazon.com.

The International Society for the Study of Trauma and Dissociation (www.isst-d.org), which I mentioned above, might also be a resource worth checking out since their members specialize in this kind of thing.

Is your book, go with what feels right for you. :)

Ritual abuse is such a difficult area and one so very under-resourced. Sadly, I know way too many people who have endured that. I'm glad you're raising awareness of it and aim to provide a resource for RA survivors.

Good luck with it,

Charli,

Thanks for the resources on ritual abuse. I will contact the resources you've suggested when I write the second book.

This first book really focuses on the things women did to heal themselves. It just so happens that a number of those women who contacted me were ritual abuse survivors who have healed and now consider themselves thrivers.

But I appreciate the resources you've given me and have printed them out. :)

tootienni,
Appreciate your support. And I agree with your statement. What I also agree with is that old adage that says, "Two heads are better than one."

I can't tell you how grateful I am to have received the suggestions and thoughts of everyone who responded. Every single post gave me something to think about and consider, including yours.


drbecker:

I hope I haven't misrepresented the book. Although the book isn't about ritual abuse per se, I do hope it raises awareness for there will be a sub-topic in the chapter on sexual abuse history labeled, Ritual Abuse.

Perhaps a second book. :)

SuzA

Hey Suz,

I'll look for you on the New York Time's "Bestsellers List" sometime next year maybe! Good luck to you, and God speed. I wish you all the success in the world with your book!!

Charli,

I hope you're right about the New York time's Bestsellers List because that will mean many, many survivors will have healing information in their hands...and that is the number one intent of this book....a message of healing.

xx
SuzA