Sexual Abuse Support Group

Sexual abuse is a relative cultural term used to describe sexual relations and behavior between two or more parties which are considered criminally and/or morally offensive. Different types of sexual abuse involve: Non-consensual, forced physical sexual behavior such as rape, incest or sexual assault, or psychological forms of abuse, such as verbal sexual behavior or...

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Getting married in 7 weeks

mistressmaxie2k11
mistressmaxie2k11
I haven't been on here for years but now it's coming closer I'm getting married to the man of my dreams in 7 weeks time he couldn't be more supportive to me about my past never pressures me to have sex. I feel that I'm denying him that sexual intimacy that he desires as a grown man. I just can't bring myself to do it as often as he would like I somewhat enjoy it when we do bt I'm never fully into it tbh I dunno if that's because of my abuse in the past I was raped 4 x 2 years ago and iv seen a councillor for it she made me fine and I forgot about it but now the wedding is coming I feel more and more scared. I feel jelouz all the time we work together when he works early and I work late I get jelouz if he's in the bar and not me is this normal

please can someone give me a little advice

thanks
donnawanda
donnawanda
It sounds like you would benefit from going back into therapy. I do think it is normal to have issues with sex after rape, and I would imagine that it's normal to have more issues come up as you become more intimate with and committed to one man. Your jealousy sounds like it could be a separate issue - I'm not sure about that one.

By the way, did you know that major life changes, even something happy like getting married to the man you love, are enormously stressful? That's another reason things could be coming up for you.

I think going back to therapy with someone who is competent to work with trauma/rape survivors would be really helpful to you at this time. One way to find a therapist would be to call the hotline at RAINN.org.
LuckyEmpath
LuckyEmpath
First things first...Congratulations on getting married! It sounds like you are marrying a wonderful man and I hope you two will be happy together forever.

My suggestion would be for you to return to therapy. The reason these issues are still coming up for you is because there are still issues you have not healed yet.

I am not sure if you are jealous because he is out at a bar without you or if you simply wish you were at a bar too but either way you may want to discuss your jealousy issues with a therapist because all feelings come from somewhere - usually from our past. If you heal the reason you started to feel jealousy in your life you will no longer need to feel jealous at all.

Take care