Sexual Abuse Support Group
Sexual abuse is a relative cultural term used to describe sexual relations and behavior between two or more parties which are considered criminally and/or morally offensive. Different types of sexual abuse involve: Non-consensual, forced physical sexual behavior such as rape, incest or sexual assault, or psychological forms of abuse, such as verbal sexual behavior or...
I went to a local center and talked to an advocate today. Not just about the things I've been processing on this site but EVERYTHING I've been dealing with over the last two years...all the triggers I never recognized as triggers (or understood why they were triggers) until now. It's all so tightly woven together. I guess I never realized...
Being here has been helpful I think. Just...being accepted and supported with the unknown. Not being made to feel like I don't belong here or that I'm taking up someone's time or claiming something someone else may have had much worse. I'm a strong believer in one person's pain does not negate or diminish another's--I guess I've never really been anywhere where others treat people accordingly. If you're reading this...and if you've read my other posts...thank you.
The advocate helped me process a lot of what was happening. Though not a trained counselor, it was obvious she was well trained for and passionate about helping others---a professional and compassionate listener. I thought it would be strange, especially knowing she was still a student and I have been out of school for quite some time. It never felt that way at all. I guess what I'm saying is. If you're out there and are, like me, "processing" but not quite ready for the formality of counseling, reach out to a local support network and ask if you can meet with someone and vent or think out loud.
I did accept the offer to be referred to one of their counselors. I'm not sure I'm ready to do that just yet. I cried the entire almost two hours I was there today. I left there feeling drained and just as confused and not much better than when I went in...but maybe a little less alone. I don't know if I can do that regularly until things start to heal.
All of that said...is anyone familiar with EMDR?
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I feel so dirty and used I was drunk and passed out at a party when I came around some guy was on top of me rapeing me he covered my mouth and told me to shut up afterwards he got up and got dressed and said I better not tell anyone I found my friend and reported that I had been raped after having medical checks and them getting DNA I've taken the morning after pill IAM just so depressed and...
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Upon his departure, he remarked, "I am in many people’s pockets; no one will believe you." Have you ever grappled with the silence that follows sexual assault, where the perceived impossibility of being believed necessitates self-censorship?
I have done some EMDR. It seems to be a fantastic technique, almost magical in its effects. However, for some people it has brought up feelings and memories that were far too intense for them to deal with. The person doing the EMDR should be skillful and well-educated in its use and they should follow the correct protocols in using it. I believe it's when they take shortcuts that people have bad reactions.
If you do a search at the top of this page on EMDR you will find other posts on it. There have been a few on the PTSD group that were extremely detailed about how it's supposed to work. I am happy to answer any questions I have the answers to.
I only did EMDR once and it was a bit overwhelming for me. My therapist usually used hypnosis with me which worked very well. I had no memories of when I was abused and when the memories started to return they came in the form of flashbacks. As I processed more feelings associated with the abuse the flashbacks stopped. But there were times when I had so many feelings and no memory of where they came from and that is when my therapist would do hypnosis. In order to heal many feelings I needed to remember what caused them. Some people need this connection and others don't. Hypnosis helped me remember more. In time the memories came back on their own and hypnosis was no longer needed. The one time my therapist did EMDR is was something she learned specifically for me and it was called hypno-waving which combined hypnosis and EMDR. Unfortunately it didn't work out well for me but others have had great success with it.
I like DW's suggestion to check the PTSD board. There usually is more activity there about these types of questions.
I took DW's advice and started looking a bit more on the PTSD board and looking at other Support Groups on here as well. I joined the PTSD board and that has been a good outlet for me as well in sharing other components of my story in putting together recent trauma and triggers that have opened me up to facing these past events. I often get overwhelmed and feel I have too many different things happening at once so no one will believe me. It's helping me compartmentalize a bit and kind of tell my story from different angles which is also allowing me to recognize the overlap and triggers I never knew were triggers.
I'm overwhelmed, this time in a good way, with the support I've received here so far.