Sexual Abuse Support Group
Sexual abuse is a relative cultural term used to describe sexual relations and behavior between two or more parties which are considered criminally and/or morally offensive. Different types of sexual abuse involve: Non-consensual, forced physical sexual behavior such as rape, incest or sexual assault, or psychological forms of abuse, such as verbal sexual behavior or...
Hi I wish I could forget past what that man did to me growing up but it's not that easy, he sexaully abused me from the of 10 til 15 I think and it only stopped because he moved away and couldn't get me on my own any more, but the damage to me has been done it takes me a very long time to trust anyone especially men I find it very hard to alone with a man because of what happen to me I know that sounds silly but it's how I feel I haven't til anyone what happen to me for fear of not being believed because one day my dad asked me if his friend had touched me in way he shouldn't have I broke down and said yes but he didn't believe me so I have kept quite ever since so it has been going round and round in my head what happen to me making me more and more angry and upset that my parents didn't believe me. To this day I still very ashamed and dirty about what happen to me I know it's not my fault ad I have tried to get help for my depression because of the the abuse I found the guts to go to my doctors and told her what had happen to me I don't know if she believed me or not but she told me I had depression and gave me something to help me. Ever since the abuse started I have find it very hard to sleep at night for fear my abuser could get to me in my dreams I always seem to have nightmares also when I think I'm getting past what happen to me something takes me back and feel worse then ever now I have thought about ending my life many times but I haven't done it. I just can't help but feel that it is my fault that the abuse happen that I should have told someone what he was doing to me, but he said it was are little secret and no one would believe me and he was right I told my mum and dad and they told stop lying and to never speak of it again so I never I just feel so alone and angry all the time sorry if I'm going on but I just needed to vent because is eating me up inside I just can't help the way I'm feeling
So many times I read stories of children who tell their parents what happened and they are told to 'just forget about it' or are called liars. It's so shameful. I chose to not tell anyone when it happened to me because I was too frightened of the threats of further pain if I did tell. Abuse is very much about secrets, lies and us putting on a face that tells the world everything is OK. But it was never OK. We are just masters at disguise.
Your anger is justified and I do hope you are getting out is a healthy way. Rip up a phone book; yell and scream; get a pillow and punch it or rip it apart if it helps. It's very important to get all the feelings out because the only way to heal from abuse is to process (feel) all those feelings. Feeling them and moving through them will set you free.
Take care of yourself and keep talking to us here. You are not alone if you come here and write to us.
I can understand your anger, it's completely natural. Your parents not believing you makes me sick. it's like my parents - and then, we're left alone with the incredible impact this kind of abuse has on us.
Do you have a phone line there called 'Rape Crisis?' They are a terrific support, very understanding - in my country, anyhow.
Take good care.