Sexual Abuse Support Group

Sexual abuse is a relative cultural term used to describe sexual relations and behavior between two or more parties which are considered criminally and/or morally offensive. Different types of sexual abuse involve: Non-consensual, forced physical sexual behavior such as rape, incest or sexual assault, or psychological forms of abuse, such as verbal sexual behavior or...

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Feel like my abuse is not valid?

TheEscapist
TheEscapist
I haven't really spoken about my abuse before because I felt like it didn't even count as abuse. I was 9 and the other person was 14, I didn't know what I was doing but they did but because we where both so young I sometimes feel like maybe it wasn't their fault and like it isn't even valid. Is it normal to feel like this, does anyone else feel the same way?
KAdunn
KAdunn
of course it was valid. it's still abuse and affects you. Just because of their age it's still abuse
donnawanda
donnawanda
That's a big age difference at that age. But even if they were the same age as you, or even younger - as happened to one of my friends on here - abuse is abuse, and it has a terribly destructive effect on us. It is really shocking how uniquely damaging sexual abuse is to a child, and it's terrible that the damaging effects linger forever until we are able to confront and heal the harm done to us. So please don't deny yourself that healing - you were grievously harmed, and you deserve to heal.
nelliefay
nelliefay
HI, I agree with Donna. The abuser was a lot bigger and older than you, and it's all abuse, it all counts the same even if they weren't.
It's common from my experience for people who've been abused as children in all sorts of ways, to minimise their experiences or compare themselves to others and say 'oh, but that other person had it a lot worse'. I've done it myself.
Your story matters as much as anyone's, your feelings matter too.
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