Sexual Abuse Support Group

Sexual abuse is a relative cultural term used to describe sexual relations and behavior between two or more parties which are considered criminally and/or morally offensive. Different types of sexual abuse involve: Non-consensual, forced physical sexual behavior such as rape, incest or sexual assault, or psychological forms of abuse, such as verbal sexual behavior or...

3,544 Members
16,257 Posts
1 Online
Personal Challenges
/ Sexual Abuse Support Group

everything

kayrl
kayrl
everything is falling apart. i feel lost and don't know what to do. A friend that i'm really close to and has helped me so much is being cut from our school and she might move away bc my town is small and doen't have much to offer. i understand why and i think her and her husband need to make a living but it just really sucks cuz she's the only one i can really talk to. i'm traped in what seems like a jail but not really if that makes sence? i don't talk to my parents but i am starting to talk to my dad more so thats good. but everytime my mom talks to me i snap back at her and so we never talk. One of my brothers luke just quite school and so now i'm praying my mom doesnt' kick him out. he's like the only one i have now! i've basicly have disonnected myself from my family, my mom, my oldest brother but that's cuz he abused me, and kind of my dad but i want to get it back. i'm going crazy!! i want to cry all the time now and i just want someone to notice that i'm hurting and want help. IS THAT TO MUCH TO ASK FOR?!?!i was really close to killing myself one time but i didn't because i was babysiting and i know that sounds really bad. they were my cousins and one was in like 5 or 6 grade and the other was a lil younger and keept saying they hated me and that i should die and i was already thinking the same thing but i didn't cuz i would have felt really bad for them. then last year during basketball one night i was EXTREMELY close to sliting my wrist but i just keept thinking about my lil cousins which are like my kids also cuz i take care of them alot and they love me and so i didnt' want them to be sad so i didn't. but i think about doing it all the time! sorry this was really long that's why i labled it everything so ya lol. i just have such low selfestem sometimes and i hate how i look i look really fat and i hate it so much when peopel tell me i'm not and when people say i'm pretty cuz i dont think i am! i guess there are some day's where i'm like ok i look not bad and i'm not that fat. well it felt good to get all that out!
deleted_user
deleted_user
hey am glad you managed to get it out. i know where your coming from. i feel lost a lot to, even though i am getting a little bit of help it doesnt actually seem to be doing anything.
you have to hold onto the feeling you have for your cuzins because its obviosuly strong enought ot stop you from doing what you were going to do, dont ever loose that.
have you treid counciling ro anythign like that??

am here if you want to talk. xx
deleted_user
deleted_user
hey am glad you managed to get it out. i know where your coming from. i feel lost a lot to, even though i am getting a little bit of help it doesnt actually seem to be doing anything.
you have to hold onto the feeling you have for your cuzins because its obviosuly strong enought ot stop you from doing what you were going to do, dont ever loose that.
have you treid counciling ro anythign like that??

am here if you want to talk. xx
deleted_user
deleted_user
hey am glad you managed to get it out. i know where your coming from. i feel lost a lot to, even though i am getting a little bit of help it doesnt actually seem to be doing anything.
you have to hold onto the feeling you have for your cuzins because its obviosuly strong enought ot stop you from doing what you were going to do, dont ever loose that.
have you treid counciling ro anythign like that??

am here if you want to talk. xx
deleted_user
deleted_user
I'm sorry you are hurting.

I'm glad you have made the decision on several accounts to NOT take your life. I need you to know that it CAN get
better. It really can. You need to promise us AND yourself that you won't even contemplate that as an option. Life can be really hard sometimes. But there is beauty to behold as well. What IF tomorrow is the day that good things start to happen for you/ What if you've fought this hard for this long and you are just around the corner from wonderful relationships and good things you deserve?

Remember....it is ALWAYS darkest before the dawn.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I know how hard it is to lose someone that you are close to. You feel all alone in the world. So many of the things you shared I can remember feeling too. I remember wanting to kill myself but didn't because someone was there. It was my baby niece that kept me alive all those bad times. Maybe just thinking about your cousins will be a help to you. We don't want to lose you. You are brave to be able to write about how you feel. There are still so many feelings that I can't seem to get out. I just want you to know that I am praying for you and will keep checking to see if you are doing ok. Everyday I have to live one minute at a time in order to get through my day. Maybe you can try that too. Its a long process (Ive grown to hate that word) but every minute that you make uit through is a good thing because I care about you and others care about you too. Hang on, there is coming a day when we will be all better. Keep writing. I am here if you want to talk.
lani