Tthe first time it happened to me i was 5 . It was my uncle. I had not a single recollction of anything till i was 12. After i remembered and told ...i got confused and thought it was a dream. It tore me up not knowing if i lied or not, so when i was 16 i went to my uncles house and asked him point blank if and what happened.
He told me that it did in fact happen. I would suggest she confront him if she is emotionally able to..its not a gaurentee he will be so honest with her. Someone said recently " who would admit to doing that" well..my uncle did. And he was proud it seemed he didnt say sorry or show any regret or remorse.
So maybe he is proud of his accomplishments and will cop to it...there is regression therapy, but that doesnt work for everyone
Or, maybe she will never know
But i do hope that you find out if its true, as i wouldnt want him anywhere near my daughter...these people are sick and it doesnt go away

The famous term coined by dr sigmund freud "Oedipus complex" allows parents to escape this hideous crime. How does your wife act around her father. Is she ever tense around him. While she may not remember herself due to it happening at such a young age our bodies frequently respond to a threat when we are around the person who hurt us or someone who reminds us of that person. How quick was her father to raise the issue of this concept? Unfortunately your wife may never completely and accurately remember. However a question I would be asking myself before letting my child stay with him would be whether or not the grandmother would leave her husband if he ever did touch her grand daughter?

Forgive me, I'm going to shoot from the hip on this one. First of all i believe when she said later that it was just a dream, i feel she's just attempting to forget it, bury it, simply trying to put it behind her. I know from my own experiences that it just doesn't work! But please be gentle, be kind and loving with her with this issue since these wounds are very deep and painful. Second, myself i would NEVER!!!!!!, EVER!!!!! leave my child alone with this man, I would stick to my guns big time on this one. I would even go as far(which i have once) as to bring up the issue of child sexual abuse, in a tactful manner with him, and precede to tell them what i would do to someone if they ever touched my child (i was very graphic), but that's just me. Third it sounds as if dads trying to groom his daughter so he can get what he wants. Oh God i would truly love to go to you and "help" you with this situation! Once again forgive me, I'm really, really passionate about this issue. Just go with your heart, it has never failed me! Take care, if you need to talk, message me. Later, Blaine

It's not normal to have dreams of being molested. That is something that Freud made up as a way for him to deal with all of the molested children.

She didn't just dream it. It happened. People do NOT have dreams of being molested unless they are reliving trauma. Kids don't even know what sex is!

Thank you Tyzz27. I'm glad somebody else knows of the ignorance of Frued. People use that as an excuse when they cannot handle what really happened to their children or other children. Or, molesters will tell the children they are molesting that they are just making it up and it is a dream to help with their own guilt of actually doing the act.

Priests like to say that kids make up that they are being raped by them, and then when they are sent for rape tests the priests are proven to be liars. That's just one example. Unfortuanatly most molested children to not get help because of Frued. Nobody believes what happened to them and they end up killing themselves because nobody believes them. That's why people don't even tell anymore.

Also, her parents are probably using the Oedipus complex to cover up what they KNOW happened. Do not let that girl near him. Parents like to cover up sex abuse and it's not fair. They are setting her up to be abused.

Also, seriously fight with them on this. Don't let her get raped just because they are trying to use a theory that was NEVER proven true as an excuse. Maybe take them to counseling so a real therapist can explain it to them.

Its normal to dream about being molested? really? sounds odd to me. Idont think you should risk your girl sleeping over or being with her grandfather unsupervised. Why would your wife first say she was molested and then later say it was a dream. It does sound like saying it was a dream could have been a way of coping with what was actually reality. I think it all sounds very suspicious.

If you dont completly trust him, i wouldnt suggest letting her stay there. If i had any doubt in my mind, it would b complketly off

My older step brother and I fought for as far back as I can remember. He died several years back from BAD health, not seeing the doctor and alcholism (although that is not what is on his death certificate). He and my sister's father died when he was about 3 or 4yrs old and my sister was only a baby. My dad and (his & my) mom met shortly after and got married. I came along about a year later. My sister and my older brother were inseparable when they were younger. I think my brother encouraged this out of jealousy that my dad was now married to his mom...I was the odd man out, so to speak. Anyway, I remember the house we lived in fondly....I must have been about 9 or 10yrs old when we moved from there. In this home, my brother had a room downstairs with a TV and what I remember most is a signed B&W picture of a playboy bunny. I remember him saying that he and my dad got that picture at some kind of car show or something like that. From the time I was in kindergarten to the day we moved out of that house the only definite thing I recall is there was literally not a singe day that I got on the school bus that I was not crying. You see my parents were both teachers and they would leave about a half hour before the bus would come to take us to school, That's when it would start...during that time my brother would constantly call me names, harass and play very mean tricks on me and his famous thing to do was to put his fist in my face and say "Do you want a knuckle sandwich?". My sister would sometimes join in on the pranks, but mostly is was him when it came to the teasing and other stuff.
For some reason I was downstairs with my brother and I can't recall there being anyone else there. I remember KISS (the band) was playing on the TV and we were both watching it (I know this is true) and for some reason we had family there and we had to share a bed, My brother was anywhere from 12-15yr old brother (I was approx. 7-9 yrs old). I'm guessing at the age a bit based on when we moved from that house.
What I'm not sure really happened is this: most of it is foggy, but I vaguely remember him touching me in places no brother should touch and then either laying on top or me or taking my hand to touch him. How could I have that recollection or "dream" if it was not at least somewhat true. Maybe that is why he treated my so badly, because of his own guilt.... I don't think anything else happened after that touching and I can't remember it ever happening again. The memory is so vague that I'm just not sure anymore.
Years later it was found out that my sister had been molested by my dad. This was many years later, but for that reason I sometimes wonder if I projected her years of molestation on to myself.
I've been thinking about it alot lately and trying to remember if it really happened.
I saw your post and the responses her and thought I would write my experience (or not) with this topic.

Hi awol83. I think it's wonderful that you care so much about your wife and child to come to this site and ask for help and understanding.

I agree with the other posts here, this is not a dream. Often times when a child is abused they are threatened with something if they tell the secret. We do carry this thinking into adulthood even if we don't know why. What also happens is, if a child does tell, they are met with adults who don't believe them. This will have the child wondering if what is happening to them is real. Again, this is carried into adulthood.

My feeling is that you should trust your gut and not let your daughter be around this man alone. When your wife is ready, hopefully she will trust what she remembers and will get help from a good therapist to help her heal from it.

Keep us posted on how things are going.

My mother and her sisters all have "dreams of being molested" 30 years later her oldest sister sought therapy to "stop the nightmares" come to find out, the same night they all had that same dream, their father stopped drinking and doing drugs. (coincidence? probably not)
I don't believe anyone dreams about being molested unless something is or has happened.
Freud was a sick man. He used his studies of psychology as a way to sexually abuse children in his care. (take a very close look at his history sometime, he disgusts me entirely)
My advice, whenever you feel uneasy about your child being anywhere, don't allow them to be there alone! My daughter is never anywhere I feel uneasy. My intsincts are generally smarter than I am when it comes to that.
As for the wife, be gentle, loving and understanding. Be open to what she says and supportive no matter what she tells you. Coming out and being honest with yourself about what happened is hard, even harder when it involves people who should love and protect you.
Your little one needs your protection, even if they won't understand (and may even have fits about it!) you can't protect an adult, but this little girl needs it!

It can be very tramatic for a person and to admit this and hard for the survivor. to believe it really happened so I would be on the safe side and keep her away from step dad alone.. It is not uncommon for stepdads to to do this. It may not be in every case. In my case it is true.