Sexual Abuse Support Group

Sexual abuse is a relative cultural term used to describe sexual relations and behavior between two or more parties which are considered criminally and/or morally offensive. Different types of sexual abuse involve: Non-consensual, forced physical sexual behavior such as rape, incest or sexual assault, or psychological forms of abuse, such as verbal sexual behavior or...

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Disabled brother

kholers92
kholers92

when I wasn't in kindergarden my disabled brother started rubbing him self on me nightly ( we shared a room..I am a female btw) I guess I blocked it out until a few years ago and it has been haunting me I have never told anyone because I feel guilty for letting it happen. It has really affected my relationships with women (I'm gay) I've never had a real girlfriend and I've never had sex...could these be related and how do I fix myself .... HELP!!!!!

LuckyEmpath
LuckyEmpath
I am very sorry for what you have been through. I have to say that you are not broken so there is no need to fix yourself. It also was not your fault - it was your brothers fault. You did nothing wrong.

Having relationship/intimacy issues is very common for survivors of sexual abuse because those acts of intimacy become triggers to the abuse. You can heal all of this though and you deserve to heal. If you are not already working with a therapist I would urge you to consider it. A therapist, perhaps one who specializes in sexual abuse, will help you navigate all the feelings that you are feeling now and don't know what to do with. If you can't work with a therapist right now then please keep coming here for support. We will listen with compassion because we understand exactly what you are going through. ((hugs))
donnawanda
donnawanda
I agree with LE. It's a common theme for survivors to feel guilty, but if you think about it, how would a five year old know what her brother was doing, how to deal with it or how to prevent it? You were an innocent child and were not taught how to protect yourself from sexual abuse, if that was even possible (probably not). Intimacy issues are entirely normal for survivors, and healing is entirely possible. I hope you will find help and healing.
kholers92
kholers92
Thanks for the support !!!
WallbrownF
WallbrownF
I believe that LE & DW are right. You are not at fault and you should seek professional help if you can. If not, we are here for you "to listen with compassion" because we love you. You are good and you are strong. Warm Hugs
kholers92
kholers92
I just feel guilty for being angry sometimes like I should just get over it and move on and focus on finding my happiness it's hard
donnawanda
donnawanda
You can't move on until you heal. Unhealed wounds will haunt you yoir whole life. The wounded part of you may even sabotage your happiness or success because she still carries the feelings and beliefs of an abused 5 year old. I have experienced this over and over again. Now I am working at healing my inner children.
WallbrownF
WallbrownF
You shouldn't feel guilty for having feelings. You should try to understand why you have these feelings and embrace your humanity. You are having your feelings for a reason. I believe that DW is right about not being able to move on until you heal. Have you thought about a therapist?
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