Wow. I am so sorry this is happening in your family. I do hope that his step daughter is getting help now too. I do not know why his wife is behaving like she is but I can only imagine it's a form lf denial. Denial is a big part of sexual abuse. Also, if the step daughter is the current wifes daughter I hope the daughter doesn't think her mother is siding with the abuser. That would be such a betrayal.

I do hope it all works out for all of you and that your mother proves to be much stronger than she appears.

So sorry. It is devastating to the whole family when sexual abuse is discovered and it's important to not let feelings get in the way of justice. Which is what the mom has done by taking her husband to jail to confess. She did the right thing and probably the hardest thing she has ever had to do. There is a natural process much like grieving that takes place for everyone else and the result should be in time acceptance. Its hard to move straight to acceptance unless you don't have an emotional connection to the abuser. Your mom is going through that process of grief which is natural she will have lots of feelings and emotions that are normal given what she is experiencing. Don't be to concerned unless you feel the threat is real. Instead validate her feelings maybe say I'm so glad you are getting support I'm sure anyone would feel just as you do right now. I just want you to know I'm here for you and your commitment to get help has got me thinking about what I can be doing for myself too or just listen and be there knowing her feelings are temporary and normal. Focus on yourself and your need to grieve the loss of a brother maybe even an uncle to your own children, the necessary change in the relationship as a result of his actions. If you only focus on or take in what is happening around you than you'll never get to face what desparetly needs to worked thru inside you. Get informed for yourself on family systems and sexual abuse not only will this help you it may benefit someone else down the road. Take all the positive you can from a very devastating event. Mine was the education for me and my kids.

Try to keep your involvement circle small. You don't need to know what everyone in the family thinks or is doing not doing. Imagine that everyone is doing the best they can and know to do. Keep the lines clear don't tend to gossip it never helps. Focus on yourself be there for your mom I imagine if you work through it you both can come out stronger and Be better informed. There are a lot of families hurting from this issue some in secret some in the light. A lot of families don't know how to support the victim and it's a sad reality.

I am so sorry for what you and your family are going through. I do hope that your niece will get therapy and it is a good thing that your Mom is already doing it. I can't imagine how I would feel if I found out that one of my sons was a perp. I can understand your sister in law. She did the right thing by taking your brother in to the jail but as far as her loving him, you can't just turn love off, like a faucet. She is going to have to take baby steps in her healing from the betrayal of her husband. Please take care of yourself and continue to come on here. It probably wouldn't hurt for you to seek counseling, either. Sexual abuse is a very hard thing to deal with, no matter which side you are coming from. (((HUGS)))