The answer will depend on if you want to know in regard to legal definitions or definitions for yourself personally. The two will not always be the same.

If it left you feeling bad about yourself, bad about your sexuality, or bad about the other person, I would say it's abuse. If your vulnerability was exploited, including the vulnerability of being young and/or needy, it was abuse. Those are not legal definitions but this is not a court of law, and I am looking at your emotional experience.

I agree with everything Donnawanda said. There are legal definitions you can lookup online but overall it's about how it made you feel.

The term 'sexual' abuse does not always mean that sex happened. It could be that an adult looked at you inappropriately, spoke to you inappropriately or touched you inappropriately (smacking you on the butt and saying something sexual).

Take care

Thank you- That helps greatly! See, I wasn't touched... it was mostly verbal, forcing to do certain things such as take pictures of myself, ect. MInd you I was approximately 11-13 years old at this time. There was many threats, a lot of fear on my part, but it's difficult to remember exactly what happened.

My girlfriend constantly asks me if I'm sure I was never touched before this, and I have no idea... as far as I know I could be blocking even worse things out but as far as I'm aware I was never forced into what is legally defined as sexual abuse - genital contact.

My main concern was that I'm reacting over nothing and freaking out 9-10 years later over something that isn't even considered abuse, and of course my therapist, case worker, and girlfriend, all say it was abuse regardless of the exact details... but I still doubt that I'm not to blame in someway, despite my age at the time.

that's still abuse. sexual exploitation of a minor. before my assault the creep would expose himself casually by not wearing underwear and sink down into the couch so it was revealing his penis inside his shorts. sick pervert.even that is abuse. Or his step dad that tried to get me to watch a porno with him-thats abuse. anything that makes you uncomfortable. I think when you get into your 40's things that you thought of as before "as no big deal" and not that bad-you realize now it's abuse and illegal and morally wrong.

How do you begin to come to terms with it?

I'm still trying to. I went to a psychotherapist when I was raped at 20 but haven't been for a long time, I just found a new therapist that I'm going to see this monday night.

When the memories come just write them down. If its from when you were little it may come in little pieces. little bit at a time. Don't try to force it. your mind will remember when you're ready to remember.

Good luck - I've been seeing my therapist for a couple months now and still haven't had the courage to fully dive into the subject. I applaud you for taking this step though!

Thank you! it's taken a decade to have the courage. The pain and remembering just got to be too much to handle on my own. I'm in my 40's so I get that. about having a hard time divulging things. I was in no way to divulge anything in my 20's. it just takes time and when you're ready

@Converse - it takes time to accept the truth of what was done and time to get to the point where you no longer feel to blame for what happened. Right now you are in denial - as I was too (and probably everyone else who was abused) - because it is so hard to accept what happened.

Once you do accept your truth and start working on your healing process more memories may return or you may find that what you have remembered already is all that happened. Either way talking about what happened is what will put you on a path of healing. Talking about it will remove the shame and guilt you feel. Talking about it is what will move you from denial into acceptance.

I'm glad you are working with someone. You deserve to remember your truth and you deserve to heal.