Not so much...I would be curious to know how someone died, I think that is just kinda human nature to be curious but to want to visit the persons grave? Why? What makes you think it would give you closure?To see that this person is in fact dead and therefore is no llonger a threat to you? Or like to know that beyond a shadow of a doubt they are gone from this earth? I guess looking at it like that maybe it could bring some closure
If you do go, keep in your conscious mind that he/she is in fact gone and you are safe. That chapter of your life is actually truely over n can't come back...so you have a better chance of not reliving it or havinga flood of bad memories come back to you

My father died and it was only then that I started to deal with the sexual abuse in my past. My sadness turned to rage as I started to remember what that nice old man had been like in my childhood.

I do not remember who abused me, and probably never will, so I won't know if the guy is dead or not. What I do know is that when I was going through my healing process I would punch my punching bag and scream "I hope you have a cancer that is eating you from the inside out and not killing you...just making you terrified". I tell you this to show that my anger made me want to see that man in lots of pain and lots of fear. A fear so deep he could never escape it...like he did to me. So, I ask you, why do you want to know how he died? Do you want to know if he suffered? If so, this is a normal reaction to what he did to you and....it is the anger talking. Which means you still have some more healing to do and some more anger to process.

I suppose it's possible that going to his grave would give you closure but I think a better way to achieve this would be to go through your healing process....which benefits you greatly and is a middle finger to those who hurt you. And, right now, it may not feel like you will achieve victory if you can't show the person you are victorious, but I'm here to tell you that you will feel it...even though that man is dead.

Trust your feelings and do what you feel is necessary to help you move on.

Take care

Thank you everyone. I think the desire to know how he died is the need to know if he suffered..although if I look at it through a healing perspective, it doesnt matter if he died peacefully or agonizingly, it isnt going to affect how I feel and wont change what he did to me.

Yes, freakchic, I was thinking it would be that finality at the gravesite..to know he is forever gone.

I would so want to go to the grave, it would bring me a peace in knowing that he was gone forever and couldn't hurt me or another person again

My father died. I had not desire, no guilt, not reason to go to his funeral. I was over him. I told his other kids to not wait for a deathbed confession, and of course he didn't give it. You don't have to go see your dead abuser. If you feel you must, for closre, go ahead. I didn't need too. I'm sending goog thoughts and wishing you well.

when my stepdad seen me the frist time after he mulsted me he killed him self i felt bad for my brother cause that was his father