Sexual Abuse Support Group
Sexual abuse is a relative cultural term used to describe sexual relations and behavior between two or more parties which are considered criminally and/or morally offensive. Different types of sexual abuse involve: Non-consensual, forced physical sexual behavior such as rape, incest or sexual assault, or psychological forms of abuse, such as verbal sexual behavior or...
Ok, so i went to my therapy session today and talked over the whole feeling like a burden thing again. One of the exercises she got me to do was to come up with 5 things in my life that I have done, and believe that i did very well or was successful at. That helped some. it got me thinking about the fact that i have accomplished some things in my life and that is something to be proud of.
We also talked about feelings of shame and guilt. It seems that i harbor a bunch of both, and not just about the abuse but its just the way I've learned how to deal with everything.
Now here is the thing for me. I have a logical mind. I was always very good at physical sciences. (physics, chemistry, electrical engineering) stuff like that. the thing that i feel like i am having the greatest problem with is there seems to be a gap in my mind between the "knowledge" of how to help my self heal; and actually "feeling" like what i have learned matters. Its almost like i don't believe myself. the logical side of my mind understands the process and is moving forward trying to do things to learn how to live with this while the emotional side of my brain is sulking in a corner with his fingers in his ears singing, "LA LA LA LA LA" as loudly as he can!
Are there any hints tips or tricks to get you to believe yourself?
We also talked about feelings of shame and guilt. It seems that i harbor a bunch of both, and not just about the abuse but its just the way I've learned how to deal with everything.
Now here is the thing for me. I have a logical mind. I was always very good at physical sciences. (physics, chemistry, electrical engineering) stuff like that. the thing that i feel like i am having the greatest problem with is there seems to be a gap in my mind between the "knowledge" of how to help my self heal; and actually "feeling" like what i have learned matters. Its almost like i don't believe myself. the logical side of my mind understands the process and is moving forward trying to do things to learn how to live with this while the emotional side of my brain is sulking in a corner with his fingers in his ears singing, "LA LA LA LA LA" as loudly as he can!
Are there any hints tips or tricks to get you to believe yourself?
hope and love
One of the tools I learned to help with this is to challenge the negative thougts I have. For instantce, the burden thing. I might thing "I am a burden". The challenge is to ask myself "Is that ABSOLUTELY true?" Is that 100% true? I've not come across a negative thought that I believed absolutely 100%. I might believe it 99.99999%. But that means that there is a chance that I'm wrong about it. That's something I can build on.
I think one of the most important things my therapist can do is challenge the way that I think.
Good luck and please be gentle with yourself. (((HUG)))
this applied tome for anything i was unhappy about...ok my cat died, she got ran over on the road this morning, and its my fault cuz i put her outside...thats the old thinking. today, i say, she was happier outside thats where she wanted to be and i needed to have her outside because i have had to struggle with fleas and was losing that battle with the animals inside.
used to be if anything negative happened to me or anyone else id find a way to blame myself for it. it was just so much beating myself up...