Sexual Abuse Support Group

Sexual abuse is a relative cultural term used to describe sexual relations and behavior between two or more parties which are considered criminally and/or morally offensive. Different types of sexual abuse involve: Non-consensual, forced physical sexual behavior such as rape, incest or sexual assault, or psychological forms of abuse, such as verbal sexual behavior or...

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confused

lightlycoping
lightlycoping

ive just turned 18 and at a young age i was touched by a friend of my brother's and ive always felt guilt because i felt pleasuere from it and i didnt do anything to stop it, and as a result ive always kind of hesitated to call it molestation and i have always ever slept with men much older than me (since i was 12). ive always defended it, saying that it was always consentual and that everything was okay, despite what other people would tell me and id just ignore them and in recent years, ive used sex with older men as a way to make myself feel beautiful and powerful and im realizing that i wasnt actually any of those things, i was just a young body that they manipulated to think i was on their level of maturity, that i was womanly so that they could use me, and now im left feeling more confused and small than i ever have and i dont really know how to deal with these things because ive always just denied them

donnawanda
donnawanda
Welcome. I think it's a good sign that you are seeing things more realistically now - it means you're ready to deal with the truth and discover who you really are, aside from the things that happened and how you reacted to them. You are definitely not alone in what happened to you and how you reacted to it. Feeling physical pleasure and denying the sense of violation and distortion of your self-image and self-worth is all very much within the range of normal reactions to abuse. And you totally have it within your power to heal from the abuse and discover your own, real, wonderful self and value. The best way is usually with the help of a therapist or counselor. If you are at school you can often find a counselor there. I found one by calling the hotline at RAINN.org.
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