I am sick of feeling like this all the time, and now it has affected my work as now I have lost my job that i loved because I couldnt think straight and did something I new was wrong, but at the time i just didnt care, Now that I have no job to focus on all I can think about is the fact that when I was growing up I was sexually abused by a family friend from ages of 10 until 15 years old by a so called family friend, it is so hard to deal with all it is all can think about all of the time. I went to the doctors a couple of years ago and got told that I was suffering from depression and that I was traumatised by my experience and was given a prescription for anti depression medication and told that i need to talk about what happened to me with a councillor that deals with women who have been sexually abused, but it not that easy i wish to god it were.

I feel so low, dirty and ashamed about what I feel let happen to me when I growing up it all started when i was upstairs in my own bedroom with my young brother playing video games and my dads friend who was downstairs came upstairs to use the bathroom, but instead he came to my bedroom door and touched my breasts over my shirt and told me in my ear so that only i could hear him that this was to be are little secret and this started my 6 years of hell every time i would see him he would abuse me soon he started to touch down there between my legs. It is so hard to deal with that my body reacted to his touch and that is what kills me every single day and every night i go to sleep all I can think about is what that man did to me and the childhood that the bastard took away from me that I will never ever get back.

My childhood ended that day, and that was over 26 years ago, why oh why cant I just put what happened to me behind me. I keep waking up in the middle of night because of nightmares.