i've had a really hard time sometimes with flashbacks and body memories, too. what has seemed to help me the most is physical activity (the more vigorous the better). when i had times that that either did not work or was not possible my counselor recommended putting a rubber band loosely around my wrist and snapping it when the body sensations got too intense. i was a little bruised but at least it didn't do any kind of permanent or serious damage.
just keep telling yourself that it wasn't your fault. it will eventually sink in.

I went through a time when I was just flooded with flashbacks. I agree with Shyleigh about physical activity. When the flashbacks start, I just really need to get moving. Get that anger and energy outside of myself so I don't harm myself. Sometimes I will just stomp around the house really hard or go for a long walk or a hike.

Grounding myself helps -- I like to hug trees. A bonafide tree hugger and proud of it.

If my boyfriend is home and emotionally available, I will talk with him. Sometimes he just holds me and rocks me. That feels wonderful.

One thing that helped me to believe it wasn't my fault was when I finally found out my sister had been molested as well. She felt the same way as I did, that it was my/her fault it happened. I couldn't stand her thinking that about herself, I knew it wasn't true for her or for any other child out there who's abused, so maybe it was true for me too. Maybe it wasn't my fault.

i get treally bad flashbacks as well, and i blame myself so much, even tho i can sit and say it wasnt my fault i dnt bleive it. its hard when ppl are constantly telling me it wasnt my fault which is y i ended up just saying fine ok its not but then theres a voice in my head saying yes it was my fault how could it not be.

the flashbacks i sort of learned to cope with but theyr still really really hard. i started seeign a psychologist while i've been in hospital this time and hes the first person thats actually made n e sense when he was explaining them. he said that the flashbacks and nightmares i have are a seperate part of my mine, its been blocked out but wants to come back. silly little things can set it of, smells mucis souunds pictures tastes and they can come at n e time. your doing the right thing by trying to keep busy when you get them, i find trying to do somethign i enjoy when they start helps me relax a little bit. theyr never going to be nice, but maybe its a sign that you have to deal with things rather than leaving them. xx

Some day I am sure you will beable tosay it wasn't you fault.It will take time and lots of work.Are you in therapy?It is ok to cry it isn't a bad thing at all.I know it doesn't feel good when it is happening but it does help after it happens.I know this is easier said,but I have the same issues of cry.I know it doesn't feel good all the time but after I cry it feels better later on.Hang in there I am here if you want to talk.

I went to counceling and one of the exercises I did to help get the images out of my head was to write done everything. Write as much as you can remember. I started remembering things I had forgotten. Then when your done writing, burn it. It's like your releasing him and what he did, out of your mind onto paper. And then it's like your burning him up. It's great. Try it.

Sometimes it's not about getting rid of them. So much of what we do as survivors can lean toward trying to stop ourselves from experiencing things that we're experiencing.

We don't like that we're flashing back, so we want to stop that.

We don't like that we don't trust ourselves, so we want to fix that.

We don't like that we get scared, so we want to stop being scared.

We don't like that we cry so much so we try to avoid doing that or anything that might make us do that...

All of which keep us stuck in the mentality of being victims. Now we're not only victims to the person/people who hurt us, but we're victims to our own feelings, and our own thoughts, etc.

There's another way than only being victims to things in our lives.

I totally get that flashbacks are painful. I remember having them too. But maybe it's not about getting rid of them.

Maybe we're flashing back to those images because we need to see something, to understand it, to really see what's there for us.

Running away from the flash backs or trying to shut them down is like having an internal fight with ourselves.

What if you were to let yourself cry when the flashback comes? Get yourself on your bed where you know that you're physically safe, curl up with your blankets, shut the door, and let yourself have the flashback. In other words, create a safe space (even if it's with another person) so that you can go through the flash back and then move on with what's next.

Eventually it will be over and you can gently get out of bed and take care of yourself.

Sometimes the mind takes us on little trips to hell in these flash backs. Yes, it definitely hurts. But the mind is strong and if you try to go to war with it and fight it, it doesn't work very well.

These flashbacks can be like little alarms that are saying, "Remember me? I need some healing. This hurt." And if we shut it down or try to ignore it, it's not getting the healing that it needs ya know?

Just another perspective. I totally understand the desire to make them go away because they're so painful. But what if you were to see the pain as an invitation to heal and take care of yourself? You're doing the best that you can in each moment - and you can breathe through the flashbacks also.

wow lovinghumanbeing, i never thought of it in that way. that actually made alot of sence. thanks.