
Sexual Abuse Support Group
Sexual abuse is a relative cultural term used to describe sexual relations and behavior between two or more parties which are considered criminally and/or morally offensive. Different types of sexual abuse involve: Non-consensual, forced physical sexual behavior such as rape, incest or sexual assault, or psychological forms of abuse, such as verbal sexual behavior or...

kayrl
some day's are really bad and the flashback's just keep coming and idk what to do about them. i' ve tryed to listen to music, or go on a walk or run, to shoot some hoop's color. i've tryed alot but when i get them they stay for a long time till i cut or something. i'm having them right now and idk what to do. they make me want to cry. i hate myself so much for this all. i blame myself so much for this and i wish i didn't but i do and idk if i will ever be able to say it wasn't my fault and actually believe it.
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just keep telling yourself that it wasn't your fault. it will eventually sink in.
Grounding myself helps -- I like to hug trees. A bonafide tree hugger and proud of it.
If my boyfriend is home and emotionally available, I will talk with him. Sometimes he just holds me and rocks me. That feels wonderful.
the flashbacks i sort of learned to cope with but theyr still really really hard. i started seeign a psychologist while i've been in hospital this time and hes the first person thats actually made n e sense when he was explaining them. he said that the flashbacks and nightmares i have are a seperate part of my mine, its been blocked out but wants to come back. silly little things can set it of, smells mucis souunds pictures tastes and they can come at n e time. your doing the right thing by trying to keep busy when you get them, i find trying to do somethign i enjoy when they start helps me relax a little bit. theyr never going to be nice, but maybe its a sign that you have to deal with things rather than leaving them. xx
We don't like that we're flashing back, so we want to stop that.
We don't like that we don't trust ourselves, so we want to fix that.
We don't like that we get scared, so we want to stop being scared.
We don't like that we cry so much so we try to avoid doing that or anything that might make us do that...
All of which keep us stuck in the mentality of being victims. Now we're not only victims to the person/people who hurt us, but we're victims to our own feelings, and our own thoughts, etc.
There's another way than only being victims to things in our lives.
I totally get that flashbacks are painful. I remember having them too. But maybe it's not about getting rid of them.
Maybe we're flashing back to those images because we need to see something, to understand it, to really see what's there for us.
Running away from the flash backs or trying to shut them down is like having an internal fight with ourselves.
What if you were to let yourself cry when the flashback comes? Get yourself on your bed where you know that you're physically safe, curl up with your blankets, shut the door, and let yourself have the flashback. In other words, create a safe space (even if it's with another person) so that you can go through the flash back and then move on with what's next.
Eventually it will be over and you can gently get out of bed and take care of yourself.
Sometimes the mind takes us on little trips to hell in these flash backs. Yes, it definitely hurts. But the mind is strong and if you try to go to war with it and fight it, it doesn't work very well.
These flashbacks can be like little alarms that are saying, "Remember me? I need some healing. This hurt." And if we shut it down or try to ignore it, it's not getting the healing that it needs ya know?
Just another perspective. I totally understand the desire to make them go away because they're so painful. But what if you were to see the pain as an invitation to heal and take care of yourself? You're doing the best that you can in each moment - and you can breathe through the flashbacks also.