Sexual Abuse Support Group
Sexual abuse is a relative cultural term used to describe sexual relations and behavior between two or more parties which are considered criminally and/or morally offensive. Different types of sexual abuse involve: Non-consensual, forced physical sexual behavior such as rape, incest or sexual assault, or psychological forms of abuse, such as verbal sexual behavior or...
i know i think i asked this once before in a nother discissoin or i might have mentioned it but it recently came back up and i get confused.
now my brother abused me and for a long time i saw him only as my abuser not a brother. but someday's i see him as my brother and i am pround that he's over in iraq fighting for us. but i don't know if i should be mad at him or not. i want to be mad at what he did but idk if i should since he's like fighting for us and all.
i guess i just don't know what one to see him as. sometimes i look at him and all the memories come back and it's hard to look at him or say he's my brother. but then somday's i can look at him and be like ya he's my brother and so idk what to do. what do you guy's think?
now my brother abused me and for a long time i saw him only as my abuser not a brother. but someday's i see him as my brother and i am pround that he's over in iraq fighting for us. but i don't know if i should be mad at him or not. i want to be mad at what he did but idk if i should since he's like fighting for us and all.
i guess i just don't know what one to see him as. sometimes i look at him and all the memories come back and it's hard to look at him or say he's my brother. but then somday's i can look at him and be like ya he's my brother and so idk what to do. what do you guy's think?
deleted_user
Well I can only tell you how I handled it. My brother abused me my whole life. Well from as young as 4 up to 13, then he went into the military and I was happy! But he got out. I knew I could protect myself at that point. I was home pregnant with my first baby, age 19. And I thought maybe he regretted it. Then he said to me one day, "Im always here at moms, if you ever want to get HOSED, come on by". I was so disgusted and angry. So I ignored him for years. I would say hello if I ran into him, but that would be all. Then I got so angry at him because he tried telling my new boyfriend back then (the man that turned into my husbandm father of my 5 kids, and was with me 15 yrs), that I was a whore and screwed everyone. See, he set me up with my boyfriend/husband, so as me and my hubby became serious, PETER got jealous cuz he was losing his drinking partner, so he said awful things trying to get him to leave me. So I told my hubby EVERYTHING that Peter had done to me my whole life, and that was the reason he was lying to scott, to get him to leave me!!! Well that certainly changed Scotts loyalty toward Peter!!! So after that, I didnt speak to Peter for 17 years!!!! Three years ago, I felt bad for my mom and grandmother, and other brother, because it was making holidays very hard. Everyone had to try to be everywhere at once to avoid the chance that Peter and I would be together, cuz I REFUSED! So I called Peter and made up, and told him life is short, and lets put it behind us, and let bygones be bygones. He was so happy I did that. And so was my family. And we got to be a lot closer considering.......... And like you, there were times I was proud of him, or felt like I had a big brother again. But he got to be more and more arrogant, and lecturing my kids as if he were their father. I saw a simialr abuse thing he was doing to them. Not sexually, but emotionally! Making my boys feel like they were losers, or not doing enough or good enough. So I have detached again. We can be at the same holiday meal if it comes to that. But he was kicked out of the marines for smoking pot, his wife left him with their two kids not long after the narriage, and hes an alcoholic pill head. He was thin in youth, and despises fat people badly, but now he is fat!!!! hahahaha KARMAs gonna get u!!! I guess my point to you, is you can be both to your brother if you can handle it. You will always know what he did, and hate him for that. Maybe someday you can write him a long letter like I did, when I was sick of his belittling me over his own guilt!! And try to resolve it. Or you never have to. And you can love him and be proud on another level. Just never allow his abuse again, and have BOUNDARIES when hes back. It is possible to be angry or hurt by him, yet still love him as the brother he is. As long as you PROTECT yourself from here on out, and not cower or feel weak when he's around. Even if you have to fake it, stand tall, feel proud, and know he is damned lucky to have any kindness or attention, or friendship YOU ALLOW! Hope it helped a little.
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