Sexual Abuse Support Group
Sexual abuse is a relative cultural term used to describe sexual relations and behavior between two or more parties which are considered criminally and/or morally offensive. Different types of sexual abuse involve: Non-consensual, forced physical sexual behavior such as rape, incest or sexual assault, or psychological forms of abuse, such as verbal sexual behavior or...
It was all my fault. I never told him stop. I moved against him. I would turn away or drag a blanket across myself after it had gone on for a long time already. I kept giving him backrubs years after it first started and while it was still happening. Then he would give me some.
I get uncomfortable when older men get near me. I'm nervous in social groups. I am always reading a book. I have a dirty mind. I'm fat, or at least I think so. I shake a lot when I talk to guys, friends or not. If people talk about abuse or any of that stuff I think about IT. The two time I have been asked out I ended up never going. I told them that I wasn't ready or that there was stuff going on and I couldn't. I liked both of them.
I am super shy and quiet and can't shut up when I start talking to someone. I can't keep a conversation going. I'm f*cking crying right now. I actually have a friend, she is in 8th grade, but will be in 9th next year. She is more my sister's friend. She had bad things happen to her. I believe she said it was her father. She went on trial against him. I don't know how she did it. She is so strong. An 18-year-old is in awe and thinks a 14-year-old is amazing and a role model.
I don't know why I am saying all this. I’m balling. I hate it all. I hate that I am not stronger. I hate that I feel like it's my fault.
I don't want to be a slut. I don't want to have mental problems. But I have sent nudes to a couple guys online and I don't know why. I hate it. I have started crying and having small break downs a lot this year. It is all really hitting me. I still live at home and have nowhere else to go. I am too scared to do anything with my life. I can't even go ask for an application to get a job. I don't want to get in a relationship and freak on the guy or girl or who the f*ck ever.
I am a mess. My two friends know what happened. But they don't understand and it is hard for them to believe or take in I think. They say I can vent to them, but I feel like this is too much. They have their own problems. I can't even give my grandpa or give a guy (family member or a friend’s family member who aren't trying to harm me) hug without internally freaking out or getting uncomfortable.
shit shit shit I am sorry for this total freak out blurb. I feel like I always need to say sorry.
And you're hurt. And it's not okay that you were hurt. But it's okay to not be okay about it or from it.
You're not a slut. I've been in a position where I sent nudes to guys online. Yes I wish I hadn't but it doesn't make me an awful person. And it doesn't make you one either. If it helps at all, I understand it. I'm sure many people on the forum do too.
Dont feel sorry or ashamed for freaking out. I've been there. Many people dont teg it. But a lot of people do. I hope you're okay. You seem very nice.
Even if he didnt mean to, even if he claims he wasnt hurting you, even if you interacted with him after, your arm is still broken. He broke your arm.
The tricky thing about a broken arm is it cant heal without a cast, right now youre working on your cast. So am I. But it gets easier, and it hurts less. The memory of the broken arm may never go away, but it wont hurt this much forever.
You will be okay. Even if it seems like you never will. He broke your arm, but broken arms heal.
If you ever need to talk, Ive been through very similar stuff, Im hear to listen, give advice, share, whatever you need.
I understand you and I feel for you. I understand the self-blame. It was not your fault. It was his fault. I'll say that over and over again. I say that to myself over and over again. Sometimes I believe myself, sometimes I don't, but when I do, it's a relief. The blame is always entirely on the abuser.
Support to you
Not mine
His
Not mine
He's to blame
Not me