It's hard when you're dealing with with family that's abused you. I still talk to my sister that was my main abuser, the one that didn't stand up for me when her husband was specially abusing me. It hurt, it was awful and I can't stand her sometimes for it, but I'm still attached to her. I still love her and am happy when she's happy.
Sometimes our bonds and emotions don't make any sense. How are they supposed to. You're boyfriend, maybe he should try looking into the psychological affects of sexual abuse and incest. In the mean time, take some breaths and take a little time out to do something you know you enjoy.
Everyone needs to remember sometimes that life is a messy, complicated, and stance thing. Just because someone feels you should hate your father and your uncle, doesn't mean that's what should be in your heart.
I understand that putting people away is hard, so very hard to do, but I think you should at least bring it to light. People that molest children, in my opinion, really shouldn't be running around. But on the other hand, it is hard. At some point the cycle of abuse needs to be stopped. You have strong attachments to you family, despite their sins, and I don't think you should be faulted for that. No one can understand, truly, what you're meaning exactly by what you're saying until they sit back, calm down, and really imagine it from your angle. Even then it's hard, they don't have your heart and soul. We all deal with abuse differently, and as much as those ways disagree at times, no one should be blamed for that.
Take care, and take time. Take care of yourself for a little bit. And always remember to love yourself.

I am stuck in the same situation. I was molested by my father as a child and teen. For some reason, a small part of me still loved him. Not all times were bad. There were actual good times and good memories we have together. So feelings are conflicted. He is dead now. I sorta got closure, but not really. I'm not sure if I'll ever "just get over it". The rest of my family does not seem to care. My boyfriend cares, but does not understand. Nothing that bad has ever really happened to my boyfriend so he does not understand depression or my mentality even when I have discussed it multiple times. Then again, I'm not good at voicing my thoughts. I would just try your best to avoid your uncle, father, and grandfather's grave for just a short period of time. Unless it truly helps you heal, then make a promise to yourself not to visit even if it's for 1 day. Then extend those periods of time. Or if you must make visits, promise yourself you're not going to let it hurt you.

Thank y'all for the responses.

As far as my uncle goes I haven't seen him since the day of the incident in August of 2014. I've just recently decided to possibly go and see him in prison. I feel like it's something I need to do.
It's been almost a year since I've been to my grandfather's grave, I'm wanting to get the tattoo I have for him covered soon.
My father on the other hand, he still has me on his phone plan, so he pays that. And I have to give him $200 every month for my car. And since my grandmother doesn't appear to believe me anymore about what has happened between him and I, and she has no wish to tell anyone else that would notice me no longer seeing him, I'm not even sure how to go about cutting him out.
I'm trying to get into a therapist soon. I'm waiting to get my insurance card.
If the guy im with currently and I are still together by the end of this apartment lease we may be making a move closer to his father, I feel that would be the best instance for me to lose my dad. But I guess I'm also afraid of what all that entails, though if I'm being honest, I know in my head I probably don't need any of my blood related family around here, I'm just too scared of being alone to cut the chords.

I can totally relate. I was sexually abused by my father and for many years, I tried to push it down and pretend that I was OK and that we could have a relationship based on my need for approval. It was so unhealthy for both of us. The stress in your body, saying that you "can't catch a breath", stuff like that, is your body telling you that something is amiss and must be changed for your physical and emotional health. Your boyfriend obviously cares about you because he wants you to avoid these unhealthy relationships. I was living in the past and being defined by my abuse for so long (the "victim") and it took a terrible toll on me. I had to sever my relationship with my father after I asked him to go to counseling with me and he refused, in fact, he justified what he did to me. You should not be allowing your father or uncle to feel OK about what they did, but you should hold them accountable. Yes, there is room for forgiveness and reconciliation IF they admit their wrongs and seek to right them, but that still doesn't mean you have to continue a relationship with them. Imagine someday when you have children...would you want these men around your children? It would not be safe for them, and your job is to protect them from pedophiles! I would highly recommend that you get counseling from someone who specializes in sexual abuse so you can get on the right track, leave your past in the past, and start to build a healthy life and healthy relationships. You don't need your father's approval any longer, and that is keeping you in a vicious cycle that is hard to break out of. Counseling and a support group helped me a lot. I have been set free from all of that awful stuff in my past, and I really want to see you experience that, too!

Im having a day that if I knew where i could get malled by a bear, I would find one. But I dont... :-/
Not sure if im relieved or disappointed

Hi I know what you mean, my story maybe different to yours but sort of similar. I was abused by my brother, well some may call it abuse some may call it children’s sexual exploration. You see he also cleaned me if that makes sense, we made a game out of it. He was 13 himself, I was 11. He was and still is my older brother who had been abused himself. He was supposed to protect me I was the youngest. But I can’t hate him, I have many good memories with him I think, but he’s the one that made me vulnerable to be abused by someone else later when I was 15. This was a stranger, and what happened I formed a relationship with him. I have reported him now. I feel so guilty for it because he is potentially going to be sent to prison for the rest of his life he’s an old man. He ruined my life and I feel guilty for it. I really hope you find the closure you need. I guess The point I wanted to make was it is not uncommon to feel this but you need to do what you feel is right for you.