I felt the way you do when I was in my 20s. Everything seemed so hopeless. I had been abused so badly and for so long, I just felt I would never find a way out. Like most abuse survivors, I blamed and hated myself.

That was a long time ago. I started in therapy when I was about 24 and started going to support groups (and found out almost all abuse survivors feel the same way), and started reading lots of books.

I have learned to love and appreciate who I am. This isn't an easy journey. But what else can we do. We can't change the past. All we can do is heal ourselves and find a way to create a good life.

You're not to blame. The shame belongs entirely to the abuser.

I hope you can find someone to talk to that you really trust -- a school counselor, teacher, trusted friend.

If you get a chance check out the book "Courage to Heal" by Ellen Bass and Laura Davis.

Wish I could just reach through this computer and give you a hug. It's tough being 16. It's devastating when you're carrying such a heavy burden.

My thoughts are with you. DD.

You can't love yourself because you blame yourself. You blame yourself because of the things you may have felt. It is a vicious cycle. It really sucks. Remember that we are all here with some understanding of what you are going through. You are not alone. Someday it will get better.

I despised myself for so many reasons. I felt like I must be worthless if such terrible things could be done to me, adnd my feelings just didn't matter. I was ashamed and disgusted by what was done to me, felt like damaged goods. I was always pretending about who I was, because I was afraid people would find out, and I didn't have a clue who I was because of it. But the important thng to remember is- it was DONE TO US. We are not guilty of anything. We were innocent victims. And now we have to put the pieces back together and carve out some kind of life for ourselves. None of it was your fault. You are a human being who is worthy of so much more than this. It will get better.

I feel the same way as you. Whenever I think about what happened, I hate myself. I used to cut to make the feelings go away, but it didn't help. I have been to so many psychologists and psychiatrists that I ended up lying because I was reliving the incident every single time we would "discuss" what my feelings were. HUGS you