Sexual Abuse Support Group

Sexual abuse is a relative cultural term used to describe sexual relations and behavior between two or more parties which are considered criminally and/or morally offensive. Different types of sexual abuse involve: Non-consensual, forced physical sexual behavior such as rape, incest or sexual assault, or psychological forms of abuse, such as verbal sexual behavior or...

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Auri777 01/25/2015

I was abused as a child, I wasn't able to talk about it till my recent girlfriend told me about her similiar abuse as a kid, telling her was the first time I ever said it out loud... I've come to terms with the fact that it wasn't my fault thanks to the support of my last gf but I feel like it's always played a part in me having a hard time in relationships... I've always been very sexual even when I was pretty young I was having sexual thoughts and desires way before other kids my age, sometimes I feel like some type of pervert but I'm a very sweet person and would never do anything like what happened to me or to hurt anyone... But how do I get over this? My solution till now is just to be with girls who also are very sexual and don't mind the way I am... But I'm a really nice guy with a big heart and girls that like a lot of sex will just end up using me for sex a lot of the time which leaves me very empty feeling... I need a supportive girl and want a family and kids but the relationships that I've had like that have lacked the sex life that's fulfilling for me... I would rather not be as sexual and be in a loving committed relationship that's gonna last but I've been this way for so long how do I supress being so sexual without it feeling like it's gonna burst out of me... I'm feeling so down on myself lately.. I think i would be married and happy by now if it weren't for me being so sexual what should I do? I really need advice.....

SmilingInTheRain 01/25/2015

Hey fellow. I am so sorry that you were abused as a child. That is good that you opened up to your ex about it. It is okay to talk about your experiences and I am glad that you are doing so here. I was abused at a young age and I was very sexual and always had sexual thoughts. When I was 3 or 4 I began humping everything I could. I am not sexual at all now. You sound like a nice guy to me. You are just very sexual. Seems like you are longing for so much more than sex but sex is all you know. You can be loved and have the whole normal life experience. You are deserving of love and happiness.

SmilingInTheRain 01/25/2015

Now are these sexual adventures leading you to cheat while you are in a relationship? Like there is so much sexual energy that it is pouring out of you? Do you sabotage your relationships?
See you said it yourself that you feel used when you are just hooking up with women for sex. Feeling used and empty isn't a good feeling.
As for slowing down your sex drive or sexual impulses. I don't know.
This is going to sound stupid but my therapist told it to me for my repetitive impulses. She said when those thoughts hit to get up and do something. Go for a walk, write, exercise. I hope I was of some help.
Thanks for sharing your story. It wasn't your fault and you don't have anything to be ashamed of. Stay strong.

Auri777 01/25/2015

I've actually never cheated or been cheated on... I usually don't have relationships with girls that I'm very sexual with though I'll usually just ask them to respect me enough to tell them if they wanna pursue a relationship or sex with someone else... But I've found that I have a harder time just having sex as I get older... I do exersize a lot and that is great advice... When I've been in a relationship that I decide to put a label on I usually will just try to supress being so sexual but it always bevomes harder as the relationship goes on and girls will usually be more sexual for me and I'll do my best to make them want a lot of sex by being very attentive, but it seems unlikely that I'm ever gonna find a girl who is sweet and supportive like I need that will be really sexual too... Has therapy helped you to be less sexual? That's probably something I should look into nut I don't have health insurance right now and I don't know how I could afford that with my other expenses...thank u for lending an ear...

MickKay 01/25/2015

Hey bud,

It wasn't until my marriage was breaking apart that I started dealing with my abuse. If you're hurt, then you have to find the right way to help yourself mend.
Therapy has been slow, but helpful and I'd recommend it.
I find that most friends get spooked, so I only share with a few ... learned the hard way because after many years I wanted only to deal with my issues 24/7 once I started.
I was also abused young, forget most of it, and remember some of the strange things that I did before I can remember any of the abuse.

I hope you find your peace,

Mick

Auri777 01/25/2015

Thanks for sharing... I know what u mean its a pretty heavy thing to share and it seems to kind of repel people from me.. My ex gf was a huge help bc she had similiar stories of abuse and we could tell each other anything but since we broke up its been hell feeling like I have to hold it in... I want to get in therapy but My finances are tight right now and I don't know how I would afford it... I'm grateful for ds and to be able to share and get comfort from the people here for now even if it's just helping me get by till I can see a therapist...

SmilingInTheRain 01/25/2015

Hey Auri. Yes. Therapy does help a lot. Being able to talk in detail about what happened and the issues that are still going on without being judged it's amazing. Something about saying it out loud really is healing. That really sucks that you don't have insurance or the money right now to go. There may be places around there that offer therapy that isn't that expensive. Might have to look around a bit. I am always here if you want to talk.

Auri777 01/26/2015

Thank you, I'm feeling better today but im sure I'll take u up on that next time I'm having a hard time...

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