i tend to have the same feelings at times and I have found walking away from the situation works. If I am with friends I tell them I have to use the restroom and anywhere else I just go to another room or outside to give myself time to distance myself from their feelings when I return it feels less like they are having those feelings towards me if not that then I just ask them whats wrong just to put my mind at ease if I have no where to go. Hope this helps a little

Unfortunately think itsjust oneof those issues that result from abuse. How often and how many of us were told that what happened to us was our fault. Therefore while the perps might not be around any more we take on others' emotions as our own thinking that if we had of said or done somethign different then that person would not be in the mood they are. I really like the idea of stepping away from the situation as this may give us theopportunity to think logically through the situation. I think the closest books around this issue would be based on changing negative thoughts.

I do the same thing, Sometimes I think I did something horrible because my friends have not called me when I thought they should; or I think they acted like they wanted nothing to do with me when in reality they did not do any such thing. I have a really big issue with trust, even with my friends.

I have to agree with Mahwewa, if I am with the person (People), I come right out and ask, (One of my problems, I am too blunt with the honesty) if they are upset with me I want to know so I can deal with it, and if not, give them a chance to talk about it. although most of the time I think it is me, 99% of the time it is not.

And as Tyzz27 said, we tend to own other people's emotions, when we really have no right to them. (Wow, that just opened my eyes to a bunch of things.)The truth is, we are only responsible for our own emotions, we have no control over others.

Yeah I tend to have the same codependency issue....it's almost I laughingly think anything that goes wrong anywhere in the world can somehow be traced back to me...lol. But it is particularly like you...it most often occurs when someone is upset....my knee jerk reaction is it must be due to something I've done or said and like with twodryeyes 99% of the time when I check it out it has nothing to do with me....(although sometimes I persist in believing it despite what they tell me}. It's clearly tied to my tendency to be self absorbed.
For me it is most common with anger and the roots to that go directly back to childhood. I wish I could give you some good advice and strategies on how to combat the tendency but alas, I'm still working on it myself. It's gotten better over the years and I can step outside myself and see myself doing it to myself and sometimes will stop it but many times I do it anyway. Good luck it's a tough one to stop...just try to get out of your head and stay in the present.

Thank you all for your words and advice. I know what I have to do. Its just I want results NOW! Wouldn't that be great?! If we could just "want" something and it suddenly comes true. Actually, that wouldn't be great. That would be dangerous. God bless you all.

Stef