No one can tell you how to handle this situation - you have to trust your gut and do what is best for you.

In life the only person we can change is ourselves. We can talk to others and suggest they change to suit our needs but it is up to them to actually make the change. And then it is up to us to accept them, or leave them, if they do not make the change.

Since the only person you can change is yourself - are you willing to change your view's and accept that your boyfriend likes to look at porn? Are you willing to accept that your boyfriend may revert back to a pattern of sexual disrespect?

Talk to him about your concerns and if he is not willing to change then you must accept him as he is or walk away. Those are your choices. They may not be wonderful choices but they are still choices. Be true to yourself. Always make the choice that is best for you.

((hugs))

If it were me I would confront him about it. He may just have an addiction to porn and need help. ((hugs to you))

Men sure think differently than women especially about such things. He may not become disrespectful, but I would let him know very clearly what boundaries you have in this area that are not negotiable....and how it felt to you seeing the sites on his page. When you do, I would reeeally evaluate in detail his reaction. .... I have put up or accepted things before that really made me feel oppressed. I wouldn't anymore.

I will put my head on the chopping block and tell you that I am male. As a survivor of childhood sexual abuse, I completely understand the emotional side of your dilemma, however, knowing my history with anxiety, depression, and trust issues, I would see the other side of the coin. First of all, I do not know what the heck "semi porn" is. If he is not disrespecting you (let past boundary issues remain in the past for now), why are you fortune telling and mind reading? If you approach your disappointment in his interests or curiosities, you may not have to worry about ending the relationship. You can ask my ex wife what I mean about that as she felt the need to confront me on library books and websites that I would visit, none of which were porn or sexual in nature. I don't know if SHE or I had the biggest trust issues. I believe that all people (male or female) should have their own lives so long as they are not harming themselves or others. Personally I have zero interest in porn but I do have an interest in communicating with others on sites like this. I would not like it if my wife were reading my private messages, posts, replies, or whatever. Is that paranoia or merely my privacy? If my spouse were to even bring up information on my computer, phone, or note pad on my desk, it may be the last conversation that we have. I do not feel the need to explain. I would judge my relationship on how I am treated. Keep in mind that the porn industry exists because people want or need it. Those actresses and models are very well paid (when not into sexual slavery and abuse, etc). So, if the semi porn is actually just tame nudity, let him have his life or move on to find a partner that you feel will think and feel exactly as you do. There'll be less tension for both of you.

Being a male who's spent over a decade in therapy and support groups, I offer my "two cents" A) focus on your recovery first B) Porn isn't the real world and isn't a make or break for a relationship solely by itself. C) I get most of what your thinking and feeling - as previous posts, you should learn to focus on your intuition, or your "gut" and not your thoughts in your head. If you can't do this own your on, tons of self-help books are a great resource.

~Brian