Sexual Abuse Support Group
Sexual abuse is a relative cultural term used to describe sexual relations and behavior between two or more parties which are considered criminally and/or morally offensive. Different types of sexual abuse involve: Non-consensual, forced physical sexual behavior such as rape, incest or sexual assault, or psychological forms of abuse, such as verbal sexual behavior or...
I just dont get it! Every day seems to get harder and every step forward I take seems to send me two steps back. Im so angry!! I hate the guy who attacked me! I hate the fact that he went ahead and did as he pleased without even thinking of me, not once. Does he not know the damage he did to me?! Oh yeah, thats right he does! He reminds me all the time that he will take as much from me as he can. He never leaves me alone and I hate him for that!! I finally get away to college but I still have to face the fact that I go home at times and I know he will be there waiting. I feel like I am losing my mind and all sense of security. I hate him for making me silent. I cant talk about what happened. I get sick from just the thought of what has happened and when I start to talk about it, it causes mental and I dont know why, but physical pain too. Its just too much. I hate him for taking away so much of me. I hate that I never feel safe, I hate that it happened and that it might not be over just yet. Im tired of sleepless nights and dreadful mornings. Im tired of crying, of feeling helpless and ashamed. I hate that I blame myself every day. I hate him for making me weak, for making me feel so uncomfortable in my own skin. I hate him!!! It might be wrong of me, but I really do. I hate how he makes it so hard for me to just live, to get out of bed and be happy that the sun is shining. I hate how what I used to love, I dont anymore. He changed my life and I hate him for that! I hate him because I now know that I will spend my life trying to forget what he did to me!
I also wanted to say that there's nothing wrong with hating him. I have not nor will I ever forgive the people who abused me, yet I've moved on. They no longer have any control over me. You'll get there too. Trust in that.
this is so very true, youw ill get better it does get better.
your physical pains are you body's way of reacting to the stress. kind of like a lot of people carry stress in their shoulders. they will get hard and often hurt. the rest of your body can react the same way. its totally normal.
try taking a hot bath, yoga or something else that is really relaxing for you. its not easy, i know, but you can do this.
if this person is still in yoru life, if you dont mind me asking, why have you not turned them in? you have made such great progress being able to talk about it, that i am sure some mental peace would help here. i turned my abuser in, though it wasnt easy and was really draining it has assisted the healing process so very much.
hugs and PM me if you need to.
tiffani