does your brother live with
his babys mother? have you told anyone in your family about what your brother did to you? were you believed if you told? is there a safe adult that you know that you can talk to about this situation?

hmm they kind of did. heather is still in school so i don't think she lived there all the time but ya kind of. ya my whole family know's what happend but no one talks about it. umm my dad believe me and my mom said she did but i dont' think she does, if she did she wouldn't allow him around me or she would at least be a little more careful. ya i'm going to talk to her tomorrow about it and see what she thinks

Do you have a counceler that you see that can give advise on this matter? Even if you tell your sister-in-law sounds like counceling would be in order. She could either freak out and leave him or tell you your a liar. A simialar thing happend in my family, some believed and others were in denial over it. Either way she needs to be told. Is it just you and your mom to do the telling, or can someone else do it for you. Also, you and your mom should tell her together.
I wish you luck and the best outcome!

umm i was seeing a counselor but not no more i havn't been in a while and never rescheduled one. i know, i really want to tell god why am i such a pussy! ugh! haha my mom tell she never will. if i'm going to do this i'm doing it alone.

your fear i think is very
real and i don't think you
are in your words "a Pussy" it takes alot of courage to deal with this i know i am alot older than you and it's hard for me a few years ago i finally told my brother's wife who has two girls that my dad had sexually abused me and i was not believed but i felt at least i spoke up i couldn't control what they chose to do with the information plus i was in my late 40's when i told and i didn't have as much fear of my dad as i had once when i was younger...so i really don't know what to tell you
i wish i did but there are other adults there that should be stepping up to this situation and it should not be put on you so i am sorry i am no help and i am sorry you are going through this

I wish I knew how to help, sorry well *hugs* We all are all here for you and support you with whatever you decide to do, just remeber you are not alone.

*Kayla

Okay, believe me, you have to tell her and let the chips fall where they may. I say that because I know that if he abuses his daughter which we all know he will, then you will feel 10 times worse than the scared feeling you do right now. Trust me, you are simply putting off a worse and more damaging feeling for later. Tell. You have to warn her. You can have a sit down with her and try and stay calm, let her know that she can ask you questions back. Really have a "sit down" with her and not just an emotional dump on her. Set up a safe private place and a private time where you guys won't be interrupted. No matter what she chooses to do with the information, you will have planted the seeds in her so she will be on high alert with him. You have to try. My strength for today I give it all to you. My will power and control I have today, again, i give it all to you. Take it and feel strong. My love and acceptance too is all for you. Please, for your sake as well as that innocent babe, try, but know that if it's too much, we love you and support you. Mother duck

thank you guy's for all your support. i will tell her i just don't know when. i never see her because they are on a "brake" and idk her number but my mom has her aunts number and i think i should also tell her because she is more of a mother to the mom then her own mom. i think that she will listen more than heather will.because heather loves mason i'm sure she will have blinders on and wont really think about what i'm saying. idk. thank you guy's. i will tell i promise i just have to get up the courage i guess and stop thinking about myself and instead think of my niece.

I think the best thing to do is to let Heather be aware of your brother's past. There is no way to determine whether or not he will do the same thing to his daughter, but it's important that Heather knows.
Be strong, and stand your ground. I'm here if you need someone to talk to.

Please do tell someone that can help with this situation. I'm going to add a post that I just put on another topic so you'll know what happened to me. I hope that you won't make the same mistake that I made. Good Luck.

My abuser was my sisters husband. I used to spend a lot of time at her house trying to get away from my physically abusive father. My father was never an affectionate person. So my brother in law would be affectionate to me and talk sweet to me. This started when I was only 8 yrs. old. It became a fondling thing when I was 11. After a short time he talked me into laying on the bed with him. At this point he tried to have sex with me and hurt me when he tried to penetrate me. I jumped up and ran away from him because of the physical pain of this act. I was scared of him from that point on. I didn't tell anyone for 3 years. I then told my sister what her husband had done to me. But nothing was ever done about it. She did tell our parents but that was about it. I loved my sister very much and her children. I did spend a lot of time at their house afterwards but I never let anything happen again. He tried but I would move away from him. I found out after he died that he had also molested his own daughters. So my pain was doubled knowing that. He had 4 daughters that are almost like my children because of the age difference. They have a way of spotting a need in you and take advantage of that need. I hate men like that and could kill them all. But I won't. I'll let God take care of them for me.

i would tell heather. it may be hard for her to believe but if you let her know your concerns and why, i would hope that as a mother to be, she will do the right thing for the safety of her baby.
sexual abuse is an offence, and for the protection of your neice, consider reporting it to authorities

please remember, you are not alone in this. you have support on here and confide in someone you trust will also help. good luck and i hope you keep us up to speed on your issue.

I 100% understand what you're feeling. Hang on. I'm going to send you a message.

I need to strongly reinforce what your instincts already tell you. You can't sit on this...you need to tell. People suggested that you and your mom do it together but I would say maybe it should be you and your dad. Didn't you say he was the one who believed you? You said your mom "said" she did but her actions make it questionable. I'm not sure she'd be the best to do it with. All I know for sure is your niece will be at risk.. absolutely. I dk what all happened to you but I know abusers don't spontaneously "recover"...hell the vast majority don't even with intensive counseling. It has to be a 1 strike thing. If it happens even once...you MUST assume it will happen again...so all children (girls and boys) should be monitored closely from then on. Yes, this will be hard and will take courage. Find others...your dad, friend, counselor whomever but it's something you must do. Not only for your niece but for yourself. If you are seriously fearful that he might harm you, get a restraining order...it's tough one to handle and 'm sorry this falls on you at 17..it's not right but it is what it is....if this guy molested you for four years, he WILL molest his daughter. All you can do is tell the truth....your brother (and your other brother and other guys) aren't in the system (legal) already? Wasn't it reported to CPS and the police? I wish I could give you some ideas that were easy but I just can't think of any right now...the whole neighborhood and town should know not just his wife or girlfriend.
Last thought...even though you're no longer seeing a counselor,,,,all schools have one. Process this through them...where I live they are mandated reporters....even if the abuse is in the past...if you reveal what happened to you and this new situation with the niece, they should contact child protective services. They may not act (although I don't know why not) on what happened to you, it at least opens a case. Again, I know this is really stressful but doing the right thing often is...but you'll feel good that you did the right thing once the brouhaha has passed. Hope this helps some :-) Good luck

thank you guy's for your post. i think sadave is right, my mom can't do this with me i she would just try and make it light and not as heavy as it really is. my dad, umm idk how helpful he would be but just support. i think if i want this to hit hard and real it need's to come from me and only me. my parents don't know what really happend to me and i think it would be hard for them to hear me talk about it with heather. i just don't know how to come about it. i never see heather because they are on a "brake" i guess and she lives like an hour away.

so i talked with a friend about all this and she made some really good points.
she helped me relize that i can't save this child. if i say something to heather and she believes me she will leave mason and the child will grow up without her dad and heather doesn't really have the best life either so she will be a struggling mother and i don't want that for the baby either. she also made a good point that maybe if we could get him and heather to go to some parenting classes that that would be good for the both of them. that if he's just filled with more positive that maybe it wont cross his mind to hurt her. and that there's a difference between me and his child. people can change for the good when they have a child. maybe this child is the answer for what we both need. maybe this child will help him relize what he did was wrong and he will be a great father to this little girl. and maybe it will help me too. maybe seeing him with her will help me forgive her a little. but all i can do is watch and watch closly. i think the parenting classes is a good idea. i know he wont go anythign to this child while it's a baby so that gives me time to see how he is with her and stuff. whatever i do i can't save her. and i need to relize that.so i don't think i'm going to say anything just yet.