Sexual Abuse Support Group
Sexual abuse is a relative cultural term used to describe sexual relations and behavior between two or more parties which are considered criminally and/or morally offensive. Different types of sexual abuse involve: Non-consensual, forced physical sexual behavior such as rape, incest or sexual assault, or psychological forms of abuse, such as verbal sexual behavior or...
Last night I had a dream about abuse. The main theme of the dream was that I couldn't tell anyone about the abuse. I was being interviewed by someone who new about the abuse, but I couldn't talk about it. AT the moment that is exactly where I am at. I can't talk about it no matter how much I want to talk about it. The issue of blame has silenced me, and it doesn't matter that my therapist is not judgmental, and is really good, but I have retreated into silence and can't seem to break it. I have self harmed again as a way to cope with this. I have only just told a freind that I am not travelling too well, and that is by email. I am going to my GP on monday as I need to get a referral for my therapist, by then he will now what has been happening as my therapist was contacting him. Last week I tried to get an appointment with him, but the only one meant I would be late for work, so I didn't take it, maybe I should have. I also took a day off work just 'cos I was feeling crappy. I go to work and try and get through each day. Maybe today will be better. Thanks for listening.
Its scary how dreams feel so real and the stuff in them reflects what life is like sometimes. Like in your case with the abuse dream. So will your therapist have told your GP what happened? How much does your therapist know? Sometimes I find it so hard to talk about what's happened that I write it down and give the therapist the paper. Cos when I try and say what happens, sometimes I just freak out and shut up about it. But you really need to try and get it out, its not fair that you're hurting yourself when someone else has done this to you to start with. I hate that the victim so often feels like it was their fault. It so wasn't your fault hun, i'm sorry that you're hurting.
Peace,
Em xo
I know how very difficult it is to talk about stuff. All of us as survivors were taught to keep silent for various reasons. It is very scary when we learn it is now okay to speak. The thing is even when we don't speak there are parts of us that speak for us such as was the case with your self harm. I too have my own ways of hurting myself over te shame and guilt.