It's to be expected that you are profoundly affected by what happened to you as a child. That's been my experience, as well as many others. Childhood is a very vulnerable time, and abuse goes very deep. Like Onalee, I would strongly recommend counselling or therapy. Or Rape Crisis phone line, something like that. I rang Rape Crisis a lot, here in Sydney, as well as receiving counselling. ( for childhood sex abuse) they've been fantastic.
For me, it's been a case of having a breakdown when a trusted male counsellor got sexual with me. I've had to have an enormous amount of help and support about the childhood abuse, and it takes time.
What you are experience is, unfortunately, what happens to us.

Just like to concur with what Onalee and nelliefay and said. In my opinion when one has been sexually abused as a child its like a stain that has been rubbed into your very soul and no matter what you do you cant get rid of it. Like onalee said you can definitely learn to accept it and take steps towards moving forward so you can have a life that you want but our soul will always remember what happened to us as children.

star755

I must agree with those who said there is nothing wrong with you.

And I must also ask what have you done to "Come to terms with what happen...?"

The memories and feelings do not disappear with age. Some people may think they do, but I don't. I kept my memories under wraps until I was 40. I would not wish that for you.

As to why you "Can't forget" I believe that those memories are calling for you to process them; once that is done they will fade; sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly.

Again, there is nothing wrong with you. What was done to you was wrong.

xx
SuzA

you are never going to forget. the human brain is an amazing thing. it retains so much, even more than what we want.

the important thing is not to forget, but to realize that there is nothing you can do about it! it is in the past and no matter how much we want to, there is just no way to change the past. all you can do is accept that you cant change it and move on with your life. You dont have to "forgive and forget", you just have to accept and move on.

i know how it goes. I was abused by a family member from 10-14. all of my teen years were spent living in a shell of fear and hate. by the time i got to 19 i realized that it was just exhausting! fear and bitterness. my life was stuck in a stand still and i was putting myself in bad position as a result of the abuse and i was living as a "victim" and not a "survivor".

when i was 19 i decided that enough was enough. i was tired of feeling the way i did and it was time to move on. t would always be a part of who i am, but that doesnt mean that it needed to be ALL i was. It is hard. you have to catch yourself when you are falling into victim mode and remind yourself that it is not a normal reaction, it is an abused action and you have to correct it into a normal reaction.

i am 27 now. I actually have some sort of relationship with my family member. it isnt a great one, but at least i can go to family get togethers now. thank god i did! if i wouldnt have, i may have totally missed out on the years that i got to spend with my grandfather and being able to go to his funeral for fear of always running into the other family member. I can go see my cousins and my cousins kids. there is so much "good" that i was missing out on just because of one "bad" person.