Sexual Abuse Support Group

Sexual abuse is a relative cultural term used to describe sexual relations and behavior between two or more parties which are considered criminally and/or morally offensive. Different types of sexual abuse involve: Non-consensual, forced physical sexual behavior such as rape, incest or sexual assault, or psychological forms of abuse, such as verbal sexual behavior or...

3,544 Members

16,257 Posts

1 Online

jeanette474 03/19/2011

I have been a member for quite a long time but have not been on DS for a while. I am in need of support because I have for the last few months gone thru a lot of stress. First I was suspended without pay by a bully boss and had to transfer to a new position. This happened in November of last year. During that time I lost pay and any vacation time I had.The boss was a bully and has since been fired. Then my mother in law the day after Christmas broke her hip and for a few months we have been caring for her in her home. We live with her in her home. Now Hospice is coming once a day to help her. The doctors said they could do no more for her. I think the stress of seeing Mom every day is overwhelming. Wondering when I wake up in the morning if she is alive. I am writing this knowing I had many losses in my life. I came to DS having been sexually abused in a foster home, as well as verbally and physically abused. I was one of 10 foster kids. I lost my real mother at 2, 2 sets of foster parents, even tho they were abusive, still a loss. I am now losing my mother in law. My son during this time had a terrible breakup and is now on antidepressants. He also is experiencing a lot of loss in his life with this breakup. Of course I wish I had the power to heal my son, but I know just like me he will have to go thru the process of healing. All I can do is love him. I have been very compassionate to my inner child during this time, because I know she is scared, tired, overwhelmed. I am writing to maybe just vent and am in need of the support that was so generously given to me when I first was a member of DS.
Thank you for any advice given.
Love
Jeanette

deleted_user 03/19/2011

Hi dear heart,

I am so glad that you took the time to write all of this down, to vent and ask for help. I just want you to know that I can see the bricks weighing down your HEART and MIND and SPIRIT. I just want you to know that you aren't carrying them alone. What I mean by that is that even though I can't go in and physically erase the past or change the present, I can share your pain and grief and anger. We are in this together, in this crazy world. We are not alone. I am here with you, my dear. And I want to hug you. And I love you.

Smile, for me. Smile because I love you!
Thank you, Jeanette!
Hugs,
Ellen

jeanette474 03/19/2011

Thank you Love Is Truth. I am crying reading this message. Yes, my heart, mind and spirit is very heavy. When we think we are strong, which I know I am, something comes along to test ones strength and courage and this is that time. I love the people on DS. I posted many a message on here hoping I could raise others up knowing the journey they were on is hard but worth traveling. When I first joined DS, I felt loved, accepted, cared for and lifted up. Maybe this is my time to give back and also to get that support that is needed right now. I have called my therapist but have not received a call back yet. I know therapy will be good for my heart mind and soul. I also thank God that I can ask for help. There was a time I did not think I deserved help from others. That is not the case now. The support of my friends and others has been wonderful.
Again, thank you for your message. It has touched me. I am not alone in this pain, and grief and hmmm anger. Maybe there is some anger there. My mother in law was very abusive to me when I first came to live with her. She was verbally abusive and she gave me the gift of assertivness and now our relationship has healed to a great degree. She now accepts my caring and love, something she resisted for a long time. I know in time I will only become stronger thru these tests I have been given. Of course you cannot see the lesson until after it is over.
Thanks for the hug and the love
Jeanette

deleted_user 03/19/2011

You should be really proud of yourself that you can clearly state your struggles. Well done! All the best wishes and blessings to you as you continue to heal. Take care and God bless.

deleted_user 03/19/2011

J
You and I have been friends for a long time. I was just wondering the other day why I had not seen you on line. Now I understand. I am still here, feel free to contact me when ever you want. I will keep you in my prayers. I also live in one of those states in which one can be fireed on the whim of a boss, and have been.

I have learned there are many things which I just need to turn over to a power greater than myself. I remember clearly stitting in a hospital room with my daughter who was unconscious, just saying the Serentiy Prayer over and over.

Sometimes that is not the only thing I can do, it is also be best thing I can do.

Love you
Crusty Jim

jeanette474 03/19/2011

Jim, thank you for your support. Ah yes, the serenity prayer. I have said that prayer many times in the 12 step programs I was in and will in the future repeat that prayer over and over. Thanks for reminding of that prayer. I do believe also in a power greater than myself. The problem is I ask for the help and the wisdom and then forget that all of this is in God's hands. Wow, I keep trying to control something I literally have no control over. I am getting in the way of the job God is doing in my life and also in my son's and my mother in laws life. He knows best. I just need to step aside and allow Him to work this all out. Thank you again. I have to say this is harder than going thru my own process of healing. I knew and always believed I would become stronger by going thru the pain of my childhood and I have to a great degree. Like someone in Alanon said to me, "Recovery is not an event, it is a process".
Thank you again for your love and concern. I will keep posting and sharing my feelings. I know how healing it can be to just share.

deleted_user 03/19/2011

Yes! So share away :-)

More Love to you, Jeanette!
And Hugs,
Ellen

KneeDeep 03/19/2011

Hello jeanette,I am sorry to hear about your MIL,Son and Work. I am glad you are here.I am glad that you are taking care and listening to your inner child. All these difficult situations can really be a trigger can't they.
Have you ever read any of books from the author Elisabeth Kubler-Ross? She worked with the terminally ill and wrote many books on the subject. I will include a link just FYI.

Your a kind,strong,intelligent woman jeanette and a friend.
I wish you all the best. I am sorry for all the pain you are going through. ((Hugs))

http://www.amazon.com/Questions-Answers-Death-Elisabeth-Kubler-Ross/dp/0684839377/ref=sr_1_3?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1300591844&sr=1-3

deleted_user 03/20/2011

Thank you for allowing us to walk with you through this stressful time in your life. You are going through so much, you sound like me with the worrying about everything. I so applaud you for taking care of your mother n law. I have heard that taking care of loved ones is very very stressful, and lead to health problems, please take time and get plenty of rest.
I'm very sorry that you have to go through so much at work, that was not a fair treatment. My husband was just fired last week, he was a hard worker, loved his job and only called in sick once in three years.
Please know that I will be praying for you and your family! Keep us posted!
Big hugs!

Join the Conversation