First of all hugs to you for being strong. And please try not to hurt yourself. Cause I think you're worth something. I do tend to say that a lot but I mean it everytime.
But do your parents know you are seeing professionals? If they do what do they think it is for?
Also do you have support from them? Do you get along with them okay?
If you need practice you have my ear. I can't say that I'll react bad cause I wont. But parents can be harder to talk to. And certainly so if they know the person that hurt you. It's a way they can be in denial and sort of protect their ego so to speak.
If you do talk to your parents can you set something up with your therapist as well as some friends. If your parents see that you already have a lot of support then it can make them think hard about having a bad reaction.

it sounds very much like your parents are really concerned for you....remember they only want whats best but at the moment they have no idea what is going on....hence they are pushing themselves into your life.
I used to say to my kids growing up that if they ever had anything they couldn't say to me, write it down. Maybe you could write it down in a letter to them, telling them exactly how you feel....what went on ( you need only give as much info as you feel you need to) and how you want to deal with it by seeing a counselor. Explain why you find it hard telling them. Then leave it in an obvious place for them before you go to bed or maybe before you go out......giving them time to digest this and think over their reaction.....explain this in your letter.

I would really encourage you to report your abuse. Your counselor should have done this already - as counselors have a duty to report. I know it is scary - but if you report then you can get free therapy through your local Children's Advocacy Center and your parents can receive support there as well. What happened was NOT YOUR FAULT and you should not feel guilty or reluctant to talk about it. I am sure your parents love you and will be supportive of you!

I was always aware that counseling is done in the strictest of confidence?.....unless we are dealing with a child who is in immediate danger, of course.

LPCChildAdvocate........It is my concern that your statement will hinder people going to seek help via counseling........it is my understanding that there is NO requirement for counselors to report abuse concerning adults......am I right?

I am pretty sure that it is in confidence. And certainly for her age. Other than Alabama and Mississippi the legal age is 18 so she would be an adult. Although she might be able to still go through child advocacy. Or at least use them to get pointed in the right direction. I know some advocacy centers will work between certain ages.

As far as I know most states even if a child is a minor keep what is discussed between them as confidental.
With out telling your parents and hopefully they will respect your privacy, tell them you have some things to work out and you are going to seek couseling for yourself.
There may be a time when you get enough help, that you may be open with them or maybe not, but that is your decision to make.
I am a big proponent of therapy because I know how it has turned my life around, but you need to seek someone out that treats survivors of sexual abuse.
Take good care of yourself

thanks for your reply. Let me clear some stuff up. It is reported, so that's out of the way. My parents arent really understanding of most things as they tend to blame themselves for it. im starting a new counsel and pretty much everything cause we lost our insurance and i had to find someone else. i have not yet started and i plan to be 100% honest with them, it's just really hard for me to open up to my parents because they have a hard time seeing things form my point of veiw. it's been like that my whole life. i can talk to a complete stranger about this but not my parents just because I'm scared. Ive never really opened up and it's been a secret for almot 12ish years. I am 19 now and it's just really started impacting me as I got older and I can't really explain why i guess it's because i have more of understanding that it was wrong and the only way i delt with it was by cutting myself. I also have a bipolar disorder, and have a hard time telling my parents why i have it cause it's not something i can control like they think. it's just really been weighing on me emotionally lately and just the other day everything strated to hit the fan and it's like they pushed and pushed and pushed and i cant get myself to say it.

Do you mean your parents blame themselves for what happened to you or do they blame themselves in general so to speak? And It does tend to affect a person by their teens. A lot of things come up at that time. Not to mention more awareness like you said.

Have you ever tried the ypothetical "friend" with them and see what they said?

Also if they tend to blame themselves for things at least they aren't blaming you. It's bad but many parents will blame the child for some reason. From what you say it doesn't sound like your parents would react that way. So you might have that in your favor at least.

You might try dropping hints. That way you don't have to tell them. See if you can get them to figure it out on their own. Maybe get some books on abuse and place them strategically. Tell them it's hard for you to get out because it's something important. This is the kind of thing that can't be pushed. Try playing a guessing game with them. You don't have to say anything but if they guess, simply nod.

And about your bi-polar. Don't they know of anyone else that has a mental condition? Ask them when they are afraid of something can they shut off fear. Bi-polar is very heritable as well. Which for starters suggest that it's not all in one's head. But it also means there is more likely to be a family member with it.

As parents we teach our kids boundaries, yet forgetting that we too, as parents have boundaries.......our kids do grow into adults and are entitled to cope with things in their way.....our way isn't whats always best for them....no matter what our best intentions are.
I remember my son asking me to leave his house politely....I was trying to sort out his marriage (later found out he was gay)......It was the best thing he could have done, oh yes it hurt at the time, but I quickly realised that he was so right..he was now an adult and I could no longer do what I thought best, to ease the pains of life for him. I realised it was a form of controlling.
If you can somehow sit them down and explain that you are an adult and that its important that they support you, rather than try to carry you. You need to make your own choices, that is part of your recovery IMO. If they wish to blame themselves, only they can alter that feeling, not you......don't let that stop you from telling them. As a parent, our own emotions come second to that of our need for our children to be happy and contented in life......I am sure they will think that way too.

"...it's just really hard for me to open up to my parents because they have a hard time seeing things form my point of veiw."

Something to keep in perspective, you're going to therapy b/c it will help you heal, grow, move ahead, etc. And while it is extremely nice to know that our families et al understand and empathize, it's certainly not always the case... and that surely makes it more difficult. But, it doesn't mean you can't still do the work you need to do for you.

Could be that some of you're reluctance to open up to you parents is fear of their judgement... or their lack of understanding. Could be that is the pattern from before, so your expectation is that is how it will be now. And, you may be right. But, I do think that as you work on yourself, you will find the courage to open up at home and/or a way to better communicate to them so that they do understand.

At this point, I would try to just set aside the concern about your parents' [potential] reaction and do the work for you. At some point, you'll find the right time to bring them into the conversation and be better able to navigate that course. Good luck, I know you'll be just fine!

I think your parents KNOW that something is wrong, and hey force themselves into your life because they care. Think of it this way. If they didn't care, they wouldn't have wanted to hospitalize you.

It's important to remember that when people love us, it's not always exactly how we want or need to be loved, but the love is there nonetheless. Maybe your patents don't know how to react to you? My parents went to a NAMI course on how to treat/support me as a person with PTSD from sexual abuse. It's not innate that people will know the right thing to do for you.

My parents were the first people I told, and all I said was "my babysitter hurt me". That was more than enough to get it conveyed. So it doesn't necessarily have to be a long drawn out thing. You only have to say what you're comfortable saying.

And as for the person who responded saying that your counselor should have reported the abuse. Well, in at least two out of the 50 states, this isn't how it works. You can talk talk talk for forever, but until the counselor has IDENTIFYING details, there is nothing to report. Statements such as this put unnecessary fear into people as they will believe that as soon as you talk to a counselor about the abuse, it is reported. This is quite false. I believe this person is here to help, but for the love of God, please get your facts straight before making such blanket statements!

You're right - we don't have the duty to report for adults. I am sorry - I didn't know she was over 18. But, she did clarify that she already reported. Of course there is confidentiality and those limits should be discussed with every client at the start of the first session so that they understand what is confidential and what is not. If the sexual and/or physical abuse of a minor or an elderly person is reported to a licensed professional counselor then they are duty bound to report and can lose their license if they don't.

I live in Texas - this is the code...

681.45. Confidentiality and Required Reporting.
(a) Communication between a licensee and client and the client's records, however created or stored, are confidential under the provisions of the Texas Health and Safety Code, Chapter 611 and other state or federal statutes or rules where such statutes or rules apply to a licensee's practice.
(b) A licensee shall not disclose any communication, record, or identity of a client except as provided in Texas Health and Safety Code, Chapter 611 or other state or federal statutes or rules.
(c) A licensee shall comply with Texas Health and Safety Code, Chapter 611, concerning access to mental health records and confidential information.
(d) A licensee shall report information if required by any of the following statutes:
(1) Texas Family Code, Chapter 261, concerning abuse or neglect of minors;
(2) Texas Human Resources Code, Chapter 48, concerning abuse, neglect, or exploitation of elderly or disabled persons;
(3) Texas Health and Safety Code, Chapter 161, Subchapter K, 161.131 et seq., concerning abuse, neglect, and illegal, unprofessional, or unethical conduct in an in-patient mental health facility, a chemical dependency treatment facility or a hospital providing comprehensive medical rehabilitation services; and
(4) Texas Civil Practice and Remedies Code, 81.006, concerning sexual exploitation by a mental health services provider.
(5) A licensee shall comply with Occupations Code, Chapter 109, relating to the release and exchange of information concerning the treatment of a sex offender.
(e) A licensee shall make written reports to the board office within 30 days of the following:
(1) an arrest of the licensee, other than for a Class C misdemeanor traffic offense;

(2) the filing of a criminal case against the licensee;

(3) a criminal conviction of the licensee other than for a Class C misdemeanor traffic offense; or

(4) the filing of a disciplinary action or the taking of a disciplinary action against the licensee by another state licensing board, in either Texas or another state, or by a professional organization.

(f) Failure to make a report as required by subsection (a) of this section is grounds for disciplinary action by the board.