Sexual Abuse Support Group
Sexual abuse is a relative cultural term used to describe sexual relations and behavior between two or more parties which are considered criminally and/or morally offensive. Different types of sexual abuse involve: Non-consensual, forced physical sexual behavior such as rape, incest or sexual assault, or psychological forms of abuse, such as verbal sexual behavior or...
My son who is 22 years old just revealed to his councilor and myself that he had been sexual abused between the age of 6-9 by his cousin and it was on a quite frequent basis. As a parent I am beside myself. I dont know what to do or say to help him get through this process. I feel totally helpless. His father passed away when he was 10 and since then he has been dealing with severe bouts of depressions and tries to isolate himself all the time. He has attempted suicide on 2 occasions though out the years but luckily enough God showed me the right signs ,before it was too late and I was able to intervene. I never saw any signs . All this time I thought he was just having problems getting over the loss of his father but the combination of both traumas I am at a loss for what I can do at my end to help him through this process now that hes revealed the nightmare hes been living with for so long. There isnt any parent support groups or much information in our area to help address these issues. Any advice anyone has is greatly appreciated . please anything .
As a survivor my mother was the last person I told. She went into denial for a year and suddenly didn't know what to say to me or how to act around me. She had many questions - many of which I could not answer. She also had to find her own way to process what she was feeling. She wanted to lean on me, because that is what she usually does, but I was the last person she could lean on. This meant she had to distance herself from me (which for many other reasons was a wonderful thing for her to do).
She gave me my space and let me come to her with any issues. Much to her dismay I did not do this because this just isn't the sort of thing you casually discuss with your mother. So she simply said "I am here for you if you need me" and left it at that. I'm sure it pained her to not be helping me but there was nothing she could do. I had to do it on my own with my therapist.
I can only imagine how hard this must be for you. You want to take all the pain away for your son so he can be happy again. But he will get there if he keeps working hard at healing. Let him know you are there for him and respect his wishes if he doesn't want to tell you anything or lean on you.
I do hope everything works out OK and that you can both heal from what has happened.
Take care
www.malesurvivor.org/board/ubbthreads.php?ubb=postlist&Board=2&page=1
Also found this
www.mosac.net
https://rainn.org/get-information/sexual-assault-recovery/tips-for-friends-and-family
www.victimsofcrime.org/media/reporting-on-child-sexual-abuse/effects-of-csa-on-the-victim
Sorry that you're both going through this, yet you sound like a awesome mom since you're here seeking help. Feel free to stay here since there's quite a few parents here also, plus you'll get a good understanding of what us survivors are going through.
All I can say is just be supportive and try not to push the issue with him. Let him appraoch you, yet let him know you're there to listen and help when he's ready. It good he's talking with a councellor and I hope he continues since healing is possible.
I wish you both the best!! :)
Blaine