Like all abuse the feelings of guilt seem to be something major for all survivors whether as a victim whn we were a child, teen, adult. I think if someone could invent the cure to help survivors not feel guilty they would be very rich. I applaud people who take their perp to court. Its a really difficult process with the perp often gettign a very light sentence if they get one at all. As for you not doing anything about it I find the best remedy for this is asking myself what i would say to my friend if they were telling me this. Most of the times it revolves around the fact that we did what we had to do to get through he event itself. Even though this is still difficult to believe because somehow we put ourselves on a different scale to our friends in reality yo did everything you could. Youre obviously still in paid and that i to be expected. I think as far as building your feeling of worthiness without having sex I think its a matterof surrounding yourself with good people. For me I find it difficult to relate to people in reallife so I find people online who value and support me. I'ld highly recommend getting the book The Courage to Heal as it providesa good starting point. If possible consider getting a therapist as 4 yrs isnt that long ago and the sooner you start dealing with these issues they become slightly more easier to deal with. Most of all welcome to his community. Im sure you will get the support you need.

Thanks tyzz27.

You were a teenager, naive about sex and apparently the cruel intentions of some people. It wasn't your fault. You did what you could do at the time. I'm sorry that happened to you. It is time to let go of the guilt and shame - even though I am well aware that is easier said than done. I think many blame themselves for not telling. However, at the time, who wants to confront what happened? Reliving the event is embarrassing and makes it more real and harder to forget. You dealt with it the way most kids would. I knew I kept silent also. Very few are strong enough to break the silence.

After that happened, you became promiscuous. The question is why. Were you searching for the power over sex - to enjoy it and be in control? Were you looking for love and acceptance? Were you punishing yourself? Or did you just find release and enjoyment? Personally, I see no shame in having many partners (even though I have had few). Still, it serves a purpose to know why you do the things you do. If you are hurting as a result of your actions (feeling guilt or shame), then it is time to look beyond the actions to what draws you to them. This is a perfect place to explore that. When you determine your motives, it is easier to drop the shame and improve your life.

I wish you the best.

Thanks to both of you. Knowing that I did what I had to do at the time helps me feel less guilt.