We act the age we feel. Shifting my perception these last few years has dropped a decade for me. I don’t want to be special. Just good and honest. That’s where I feel best.
Keep detangling that web of the past that’s still got you caught.
Slowly it unravels.

They can’t even begin to comprehend the damage and mental toll their rejection takes on us. Of course you no longer believe you’re sexy and special. You have years and years of his actions and neglect seared into your brain. That can’t be undone overnight. I wish you could shake it off and move on, but unfortunately it’s going to take time to rebuild your confidence and trust yourself. And, he was NOT right! After all you’ve been through over the years, counseling might help you find your mojo. And don’t ever act your age. Where’s the fun in that!?!?

It’s so weird being essentially rejected by the ONE person we need to want us!! I know I have had quite a few people try to pursue something with me since this all started and I thought it was a joke. I feel like nobody can possibly find me attractive just because the only person I want to be attracted to me isn’t.

Honestly, though, it is on him. And your husband’s issue is most likely on him, as well! Men have a hard time expressing when something is wrong or when they, themselves are feeling insecure and it’s affecting their libido... which unfortunately leaves us thinking we’re the problem.

I hope all goes well in this process and that you are able to regain confidence and happiness ❤️

This simply is not true. You fought off a lot of fear anxiety and depression the last few years You are strong. And nobody can tell you who you are or what’s right or wrong to feel. You may be on shaky ground given the recent events, but it doesn’t define you.

Thank you all.

Veggie, are you able to get any help with the emotional scars from this? I mean, do you have access to mental health care? It isn't just what he said and did, it's how long you lived with those things always in your face. It;s no wonder you're having a hard time moving on.

That is the thing-- over the years I have had counseling/ therapy here and there for different reasons. I have learned a lot and feel like it all did bring me a little further on my journey to this point ( as well as understanding the hows and why things affect us.) I feel like I have been there done that and should be able to trudge on.

PS The emotional scars that repeatedly creep back up are not from him but from when I was younger from dysfunctional family. (Somebody once said it is pretty bad when I've gotta pay somebody to listen to me or to talk to) In my perfect world--- I would already be fixed! haha