Sexless Marriage Community Group

This group is for those people who find themselves married to a partner who has little or no interest in having a sexual relationship. This can be very painful for the other partner and leave them feeling rejected, unloved and unwanted. This is a group to provide support for this very painful and very private issue.

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Second Guesses?

veggiequeen
veggiequeen

I was just curious--- Several others have gotten me thinking of things I never before gave much thought of.  Now I do realize what exactly I do want... and I have to admit, I would like it all (as probably most of us do)


I want to someday find someone who wants to spend some time with me, yet we can both spend our time apart (alone or with friends)....someone I can be myself around and say anything to ( and expect him to do the same) to work toward common goals, encourage and support (rather than pick apart and beat down) each other.  I am a true romantic at heart ( and a pushover) but I do believe a couple intended to be together should both make each other happier and even better people.  I do also need someone who is affectionate, caring and passionate.  I need to be touched again and feel that connection  with another .  I am human.  


So, is it crazy to still want all this or even believe it is out there?


Better still, am I insane for still hanging on tight and having faith and hope?  (i have found my faith and hope again, but is it too much to  wish for the whole shebang???  Just curious what others think???

finallyawakenow
finallyawakenow
Knowing what you want is important. All my life I never really addressed it. Just kind of went with the flow. Which, looking back, is the lazy way. Seeing what you want (could be anything) and going after it takes will power. One of our noblest aspirations. Sometimes I wonder if I didn’t feel deserving of having what I wanted. Or is that the easy way out? Could be something to it.
Msteele4555
Msteele4555
Interesting topic. Finish the sentence please Queen.

@finally, Do you feel deserving of what you have, what you want? Is that easy? No. There is a great deal to be said for embracing true humility, being happy and thankful.

Most of us don't get what we REALLY deserve.
Msteele4555
Msteele4555
Charlize Theron looking for a rebound guy.
veggiequeen
veggiequeen
Sorry guys...I did update and finish my thoughts (Hit send too soon)
veggiequeen
veggiequeen
Truthfully, I think many of us here are getting far worse than we deserve.
finallyawakenow
finallyawakenow
Or have we just not wanted it enough to seek it out. Not just roll over and take what comes to us? @ mssteel: what I have now that I value the most (and want) didn’t come easily. In fact I definitely see that the more effort I put in , the greater the return. This is fairly new to me. So I’m no expert.
finallyawakenow
finallyawakenow
Opps. Msteele.
pietro84
pietro84
My mom was widowed at age 67 ending a 42 year marriage, and a 2nd time 10 years later after an 8 year marriage. Both were difficult men with codependent needs. The 2nd husband was a childish jerk.

At age 88 she married her 3rd husband (who was a mere 86 at the time and once widowed....also a difficult spouse). He is a gentlemen's gentleman; wise, caring, nurturing and generally an angel. They adore each other and live in the moment together. Their 4th anniversary is this month. It is an elegant thing to observe.

I can't speak entirely to their intimacy; but they hug and kiss, and hold hands when they are walking together.

So, no. Having faith and hope for that very right complete and authentic relationship isn't stupid. You might just have to be very patient, like my mom.
veggiequeen
veggiequeen
@pietro--- Thank you . It is good to hear the good positive stories. I am all too familiar with the negative and still hearing time and again the fear from stbx... telling me I will never make it on my own or find someone who is as good to me as he is. (Sad thing is ...he believes it, but I choose not to .)

I am recently getting reacquainted with my faith and hope again and struggling to hang on as so many want to just shoot me down again. I don't know that i will be here as long as your Mom, but I will continue to hang onto that hope.
I wish many more years of happiness and good health for your Mom and step dad as well as for you and your family.

PS Your comment of being patient did make me chuckle . I have decided that God must have a sense of humor. As I am getting older, I am feeling more impatient (I want everything fixed... and I want it yesterday. lol) Eventually I do come to discover what is intended from him... but at his pace, not mine.
finallyawakenow
finallyawakenow
Maybe that faith will give you the patience to get yourself personally where you need to be. Then , as often happens, when you aren’t expecting it , that’s when you will find it. And get the chance to create a new journey. I’m a romantic also. Optimism even when the glass is half empty. At times that makes me feel naive but I choose to be this way. There is always hope. Isn’t that what was at the bottom of Pandoras box after all the troubles were unleashed?
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