Have you talked to him about this? That would be a GREAT first step to sit down with no expectations and an open mind and listen to what he says without putting it back on yourself. I know that's hard if your self esteem is low but really listen to him. If he's unwilling to answer your question or discuss this with you then suggest couples counseling with him and tell him how it makes you feel. If nothing else he should be at the very least willing to listen to you. Don't place blame on him for it, just explain how it makes you feel, what your insecurities are about it, and ask yourself this honestly, if he were looking at porn that resembles you exactly would you feel any less insecure? Probably not, is the answer I suspect you would say if you are being totally honest. Just think if all 100+ searches were for women exactly like you. If all the searches were for a woman like you and a man like him would you really feel any better about it? I suspect the answer is no. Because then you would wonder why he isn't being intimate with you instead of seeking it online. Right? Sometimes men just need a visual different from what they have. It doesn't speak to us as women. But I'd say the first step is talking to him, and if he's unwilling to talk he should listen, and unwilling to listen try counseling and if he's unwilling to do those things, then one must ask how invested in the marriage is he? It might be time to ask yourself some much bigger questions unrelated to sex, porn and intimacy and more focused on your relationship and if it's working for you.

Well thank you. I have tried to talk to him but never get answers. I've told him how I feel yet he only does it more. I just guess it's my issue. I hate porn and always have. In a perfect world I would find a man with the same disgust as me but the world isn't perfect. I talked to my own counselor on the issue and she suggested the couple's counseling too. My last relationship was 13 years and it didnt get bad until 10 years in. I've been in this relationship a little over a year and just full of sorrow that it really has gone so bad so quickly. He swept me off my feet and held me and showed me love so much at first. Just miss the good days that weren't that long ago. I never tripped to hard when I got what I needed from him.

I'm sorry to say but just a year in, might be easier to cut the cord than later, but I'm sure you know this. If he is unwilling to go to couples counseling with you to better the relationship than you really have to ask yourself just how invested can he be? How happy does he want me to be? Why wouldn't he just go if it means you are more comfortable, if it means a happier life for both of you? I mean these are things I would ask myself. Good healthy questions. Sounds like your counselor is on the right track. Glad you are going to counseling. Life sucks sometimes, and usually the best decisions are the absolute hardest to make. If he isn't building you up or going out of his way build you up (which is what a loved one does)........ I'll let you finish the sentence in your way, in a way that fits into your life, wants, needs and desires.

hugs to you! I would agree that the excessive porn may be a symptom of other issues he might be having. I wouldn't worry so much that he's searching online for women that don't look anything like you. Often times that interest is just to see something different. I know it hurts, my husband has had similar issues and we've been together 20 years. His searches were for 20 something skinny brunettes with very short hair. Not the slightly overweight long hair middle aged that would describe me. His problem was with sex in general, not wanting the opposite of me. Hopefully couples therapy can help you both feel better. Look for underlying issues. Best of luck. <3

Thank you for your replies. I have been hurt even further. Now he is facebooking with little high school girls at his job. This man is 39. It grosses me out. That's on the verge of pedophile. I'm done sexually with him. I can't enjoy sex with a man who views children as sex objects. I'm just starting back work after having a baby. I have got two jobs hoping to get myself out of this situation sooner then later. I'm frustrated with my own self for thinking it could work knowing it won't. He is a dog. Now I'm bitter and just trying to function for my baby. Feeling hopeless in life. I got all kinds of love to give but i yearn to be loved. I want someone to want me and show me affection. He tried to have sex with me last night but I wouldn't allow it. I'm not giving him what he wants when I can't get what I want.