Sex / Pornography Addiction Support Group

Sexual addiction, also sometimes called sexual compulsion, is a form of psychological addiction to sexual intercourse and other sexual behavior.

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miketid 12/14/2019

I am struggling. I feel, right in this moment that I can stop. I had stopped, and fell of the wagon and got caught (and trying to hide it, I felt ashamed at myself). I just put it in a box and tried to keep it separate from the rest of my life. History keeps repeating itself and I am feeling helpless. My relationship is devastated again. I hate this. I have hurt her (the most important person in my life). I am ashamed and hate what I have done (again and again). For the most part I feel I am a good kind person and never go out of my way to hurt anyone. I have watched Dr Rob Weiss's video and it struck a cord and I had a realization of why I was looking at porn like I was. I think I might know what triggers this behavior but I am not certain. I have tried SA groups in my area but I found that I couldn’t relate with them as my addiction was strictly on line and not involving any illegal activity. I am hoping to find others that understand this struggle and can be a resource for me to help get past this.

Heismercy 12/14/2019

What conditions have to exist to make it possible for you to indulge? What do you need? To make those conditions possible does it require any action on your part? Do you go in a different room ? Does house have to be empty? Do you go in the bathroom? Is it after dark? Answering these questions backwards to forwards leads to what you were/are doing before you indulge . From this place your trigger comes. Were you watching tv or movie? After a meal? Are you Hungry, angry, lonely, tired? Beginning of the day or late? Even complete randomness over time shows a pattern. Certainly the conditions that need to be present are revealed. If you can come up with times, places, and conditions triggers are exposed.

As you wrestle through the hard time that’s coming, please don’t beat yourself up. If you defeat yourself you have no chance. It’s a dark spiral down. If you find yourself needing help you have no way to provide for yourself-that’s a good time for the “higher power” used in 12 step programs to come alive for you and in you. God is accessible 24/7 and shines at redeeming addiction. Prayer is a simple conversation. It can start with ,” I need help.”

miketid 12/15/2019

Thank you for your reply. I will reflect and try to figure out how to avoid the triggers, and form new habits. I am certain I am ok for the time being as the trauma of hurting my wife again will make it easy for now but in the future I have to not let my history repeat itself.

ar2257 12/29/2019

Hi mike. Yes don’t let history repeat itself again but also don’t beat yourself up anymore. As I continue to read more about everyone’s stories here it is bringing a relief that we all can be strong and get through this. Talk to your wife and let her know what you are going through. As I read more about what causes these triggers I got to realize some of my triggers. My triggers were the feeling of loneliness, stress, anxiety and boredom. Take time to reflect on what is most likely the cause of your triggers. Keep strong my friend.

miketid 12/31/2019

I have spoken with my wife, but now the discussion is what i have put her through. The broken promises lying about porn use, and the lack of trust. The relationships that has been damaged due to the pain i have repeatedly caused. She says she is not sure how to move past this. Her resentment of the situation is profound. It's all true i feel awful... I have been porn free for more then 2 weeks.
It will take months to to gain any trust back from my wife, if it is possible.

ar2257 12/31/2019

Hey my friend, keep strong. Many of the times people don’t know how to react to this situation. This is why I joined this group. It will take time to heal but the one you have to prove that you can come out of this is yourself. I am not sure if your a believer in the most high God, but talk to Him. The first step was posting here then admitting it to the one you trust and love. I’m here to talk more if you need. Once again keep strong my friend.

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