So first of all a huge thank you to anyone who commented on my last post. The support was amazing and you have no idea how much it meant to hear your advice and experiences.

I just wanted to give an update on how my meeting with my priest went on Tuesday. 

Honestly I think it was the first real confession I've ever had. I told him everything and I've never brought any of this up unprompted before. He was really understanding and helpful. He sat back and listened throughout the whole thing and then he told me what he thought.

His said he thinks the biggest thing is to be completely honest moving forward. Honest to my fiancé about everything and honest to you guys, my support group. I'm not perfect and no one expects me to be but I can be perfectly honest. If I'm struggling with something I can talk to people and ask for help but I can't if I don't let people know what's going on.

The other thing is that I can't change the past. The only way to move forward is to forgive myself. I can't expect someone else to forgive me if I can't.

im going back to talk to him again in a couple weeks. I'm feeling so much better about this then I've felt in a long time.