All addictions are a way to escape a reality that we have trouble dealing with. Understanding why you are trying to escape and creating a better life (that you don't need to escape from) is key to recovering from addiction. And for you, releasing and working through these difficult emotions that you would rather not feel. Porn is powerful because it activates pleasure centers in the brain, lots of feel good chemicals are released and that helps you cope. It's okay. We all have our vices. Someone with a food addiction will shame you for your porn addiction. It's no different, don't beat yourself up over it, just recognize that it is how you are coping with difficult emotions, It sounds like you know what you need to work through. I hate receiving the typical "go to therapy" advice, but professional couples therapy may be helpful in addressing your feelings about the infidelity, as well as getting support for yourself to deal with all those "not good enough" feelings that you surely struggle with. Good luck to you.

Thank u very much for taking the time to write. I have tried to suggest therapy to my wife but somehow she just wants to pretend that infidellity never happened. Some how she tries to burry or hide that as i hide my addiction to porn. I agree with u....it seems that my addiction is more a way to escape reallity...numb my feelings of having lost trust in myself an my marriage. Anyways...thanks again...i truly appreciate your comments

I'm sorry to hear about your situation. It's never easy to come out and share but congrats for doing it. The darkness can't stay when the light shines on it.

You might want to consider going to church if you're not attending on a regular basis and if so, might consider sharing your story with the pastor. Ultimately after decades of fighting this battle personally, I've found that when I seek God first, then things work themselves out better than if I deliberately try to work them out myself.

I would be careful about therapists. Ours told us to get a separation and we nearly divorced. We went to half a dozen therapists too and none of them had any level of spiritual advice. In my experience, this is a spiritual battle that can't be won with worldly equipment or methods or wisdom. Some of their suggestions might work for a time but ultimately they stop working I've found for me.

Reconnecting with the God that created us and getting centered on the reason we were created in the first place is live changing. Like when Neo left the Matrix after figuring out there has to be something more out there. God speed bro. Hang in there

Thanks cj. Believe por not i do attend church regularly...and i have thought to talk to my bishop....but i havent find the strenght yet. One of the reason of comming to this site was to try and get use to talk about this issue more openly. For me it has always been something that im extremtly ashemed off...but i know i have to bring light to it as u said. So far i have been avoiding porn for the last 8 days. Havent felt the urge to do so...though i have to admit i chat with a woman that i use to chat before. It was nothing sexual...but i do know that is not correct. Thank u very much cj for your response. It really helps

Fasting and prayer can help too to overcome porn addiction. and finding the root of such problem is also important(Is it internet ). I have been in a fasting and prayer programme concerning this habit, since then I have been free from porn for about 7 day.
Positive affirmation also help. I write in my to do list that "I AM FREE FROM PORN ADDICTION TODAY". I also reward myself any day I am free from porn.
It is also important we don't give up.