X; You said, "I see you said " I did learn what my life is about, and where I want to go with it." Married people often say 'we'.. but you don't say 'we'. Is it that you expect your spouse to just follow what you want? Do you know what he wants? maybe he doesn't know. So if he doesn't know then you win by default? or do you try to figure things out together?

If I said "we" I'd be speaking for him, and I'm not speaking for him, that's for him to do. Though I am married, I am also an individual. My H and I are very different people, so I couldn't even imagine how to speak for him.

I discovered through a lengthy process that I can only speak for me. My spouse does exactly as he pleases, just as he should. I don't think he even knows the full extent of what he wants, if so, he has a very odd way of attempting to accomplish that. There is no win that I can see at all. I know what I want from my life, and what I definitely don't want from my life. I think perhaps he needs to figure that out? I dunno. But, I don't answer for him, I only answer for me.

Oh, and X, on that hook and bait thing, not my line, I just tell it like it is, folly though it may be. I'm only asking a question, is that bait?

haha, yeah, right.. very passive-aggressive "I'm only asking a question..." with that innocent looks and flutter the eyes.

I'm glad you say that you don't speak for yoiur husband, cuz some people here are always speaking for their spouses. I think there are times when we can say 'we' cuz we agree.. if you and your husband agree on something then it's 'we'. Though I also agree that we should never lose our individuality.. there can be no 'we' if there is no 'me'.

X: Passive/aggressive. I know that term. I don't think so, more like just plain assertive.

x: Sometimes I do say some things that my spouse has shared with me, his words, not mine. And, even then, it isn't "we", it's he. I sometimes feel like you apply things to me that have nothing at all to do with me.