Hey man, I feel your pain. You need to stay strong. I suggest talking with her on a deeper level. She already forgave you once, just be really honest with her about your addiction. Open up to her about the way you feel right before you have the urge of doing it. I have been reading a lot about this and I kinda figured out my triggers. It usually is due to feeling lonely, anxious or bored. Ask for help. This is a good start. I just posted on here after years of trying to come out of the addiction. We are with you. I’m here if you need to chat more about it.

Thank you for the reply, she says there’s nothing for her to do to help me but I want her with me so that I can overcome this. I’m scared that if she leaves me I’m going to fall into a deeper hole and become depressed. What can I read that will help me learn my triggers?

Hey buddy don’t give up. She probably doesn’t know how to respond to this. I basically just searched online on how to deal with this addiction and several sites popped up that were really helpful especially this one.

Is there someone else that you trust that could possibly help you through this?

Yeah I could maybe turn to my friend but I’m embarrassed to bring it up.
I really appreciate you talking to me, my girlfriend is the only one that knows I’m addicted so it feels good to talk to somebody else about it.

We’re all in it together. It really helped me to tell someone. The feeling of “hiding” is demoralizing and we just go deeper and deeper into depression and social anxiety. Which leads to more porn. If you can’t tell your girlfriend yet consider that friend. Do you trust him? The embarrassment you say you feel when you think about opening up to someone will go away quickly. Don’t let that hold you back. It’s also helpful because you kind of get a feeling of accountability which is fuel for recovery.

Come out of hiding.

Most churches have recovery programs. Some people also respond to 12 step programs like sex addict anonymous. One of the positive things about programs is you get to sit and listen and share with guys that are going through it too. As if we on this site are in your living room. It’s also a good time to pray. God loves you. He might not like what we do, but he’s not disappointed with you. He knows we live in a body with overwhelming urges. He gets it.

We’re both of you believers in God before realizing your addiction or was finding him the moment you began to move towards being better?

I I’m older so my addiction started around 1999/2000-ish. At that time I was an atheist but had been a Christian up to age 21. I was bad off for 3 yrs. I lived by myself and no girlfriend. Most of my free time was spent on porn. Then I met a woman, we lived together, and she was Christian. The porn stopped. I became a Christian again in 2008. We broke up and the porn started again in 2011. So at that point I was a believer in Christ and a porn addict. I hated myself for it and cried myself to sleep. Begging God to take it away. In 2014 I quit porn again. Over the past 5 yrs i have grown as a Christian and although I was baptized as a child I got baptized again last month. I don’t want anything outside of what Jesus has for me. He is my only focus. But the porn came back a year and a half ago. I can go months without it and out of the blue bam I’m back on it. Then stop and go weeks clean again and something like a victoria secret commercial gets me looking at bikini pics, then topless pics, then a hardcore pops up. That can be a three day process. Just pics. And by the 3rd day it’s porn hub.

So here’s where I am with Christ....I have an addiction. Jesus lived in the flesh and was tempted by everything we are tempted by. But he did not sin. (Temptation is not a sin.). So, he can relate to what we go through. He offers encouragement through his word(bible). I really struggled with the feeling of being unworthy and dirty and it prevented me from really letting go and submit to God. I got in a small group with guys from church. Nobody knew I was a porn addict. I had never told anyone and I was never found out. It took me 4 months of being in that group before I said something. They gave me acceptance. Some of the guys said they struggle with that temptation as well. I felt a thousand pounds lighter. Deciding to open up about it was the hardest thing I had ever done. I felt God telling me to talk but I wanted to remain behind the walls I built up over 15 years. I was tormented and brought to tears while making the decision to talk. Since talking my relationship with Christ has skyrocketed. I changed the way I think about myself, worthiness etc and I now see me as God sees me. I have an addiction, yes, but I am still created and loved by God. The anxiety and depression is gone. When I relapse I do feel shame and guilt and find it hard to pray, read the Bible and devotions. But. That lasts a short period of time and I jump back on the Jesus wagon so to speak. So it causes temporary disruption in my spiritual habits but it does not change the way God feels about me. I am saved. I am ever increasing that relationship and porn is losing its grip on me.

So, a trusted group of friends knows my truth. Anxiety is gone. Depression is gone. Hope is back. Happiness is back. I hope I was able to tell that effectively.

Blessings and Happy New Year, this is a time for self reflection , the issue isn't porn it's you not getting something and looking outward to fill that void, You have to get clear with yourself in what you are getting from watching porn or going outside of your relationship,, only you can do that she can't fuck u enough if you aren't honest about what you feel you need, most addicted actions begin with not feeling worthy or satisfied with something and needing to go out and find it elsewhere, when you feel this urge what can you remember happening that makes the thought of doing something come to mind? Is there something different from what you do in the relationship you seek outside? If so that's where you start , Good Luck

Hey fellas!

I am suffering from something to the extent of our brother on this post. I cheated on my now ex girlfriend (because we’re taking a break from one another for mental health reasons. When she discovered I cheated, she also discovered I’d been on sex forums in which I posted naked pictures of myself anonymously. I also suffer from over watching of porn And masturbation. Sometimes it’s not even that I’m aroused or can’t have sex. Sometimes it is out of boredom.l, stress, feeling overwhelmed or sad about something and feeling like I have nothing going on. It started to get to a point where it was affecting our sex. I was unable to climax with her outside of oral. I couldn’t maintain erections at times. It made her insecure. My therapist advised me that I masturbate the most and watch porn when I’m in isolation or want to be. I’m so used to being a loner that I don’t trust anyone to fulfill a task such as pleasing me sexually. It also stems from me being a people pleaser and wanting to compensate for that with great sexual performance that I forget to enjoy it also. Now that we’ve taken this break, I’m afraid I’ll relapse back in to masturbation more frequently. I cut down a lot once the revelation was made and it improved our sex. But I feel myself secluding and wanting to be alone more and I don’t want to occupy my time with that. Just kind looking for any support and tips I can get on here.

Here’s a little update, we’re taking a break and a lot of what cbreez said is what I’m going to be looking to. Looking to see what I get out of looking at porn and if I start to miss her and not just her sexually then that might help me. So thank you man for saying that cause that is something I never thought of. I really do appreciate what everyone is putting into the post I can’t thank you enough