Keep strong my friend. I just relapsed today and feel ashamed. My triggers were there and I let them get the best of me. I also came here for accountability and support. We must keep strong and aware of our triggers. I tried using passwords to keep me from sites but it seems as though it gets easier to access them. What are you using to help you during those two and a half weeks?

Hey guys. New member here. It’s hard, but I’ve been trying to divert that energy that tempts me to watch into something else. Pick an activity, or something simple to keep your mind occupied. Use that one specific activity when you’re feeling tempted and use that energy for something positive. It seems to help me.

Thanks guys. These past two weeks have been tough. The first few weeks I just went cold turkey, but got triggered and relapsed. Recently it’s been harder... no porn site relapses, but looking at attractive women, etc. It’s only been once a week , but I’m not giving up. Right now I’m working on just what you said, trying to divert the energy. This process has really illuminated just how deep and ingrained in my mind this addiction is. This group has been huge though, thanks for the support.

Valediction1,

I am glad you are here. I think Red has a great point that likes up exactly with Napoleon Hills discussion on sex transmutation in his book "Think and Grow Rich"

Here is how it has impacted me. For 10 years of recovery, I have been focused (as you seem to be) on how many days of sobriety I can rack up. 18 months is about my limit. But that entire approach left me feeling "suppressed" in other words, it is a constant battle moving sand bags around to try to stop a river. Women are attractive. They are Gods last creation and the pinnacle of beauty and stunning creation. BY DESIGN. So spending my days avoiding looking at a beautiful woman because I am working hard at avoiding my sexuality, and appetite for sex causes a deprivation, or suppression of my desire and need for emotional sex. If I go down this route, willpower will fail over time 100% of the time. We all know that fantasizing about jumping her at that moment is the same destructive hit that PMO (Porn Masturbation, orgasm) provides, so what do you do?

First, instead of avoiding the beauty of the attractive woman, replace the lust (envy) response with gratitude. "I am so grateful that I got to enjoy the stunning beauty God imbued in women. Thank you, HOWEVER, I am focused on being the best gift I am capable of being to the world, and I am not willing to waste, or dissipate my emotional sexual energy on lusting or winding myself up or a weak superficial orgasm when I can use that energy to build my business, or career, or health or a dozen other riches instead.

The reason we addicts don't think like this, is because we filter everything through a shame paradigm which tells us we are not worth or worthy or capable of greatness. "Why would I be capable of greatness, or wealth, or a harmonious marriage, when I can't event stop looking at porn."

I think the answer to stop acting out is not so that you don't act out, Not acting out is the SYMPTOM of believing you are worth the success, riches, and joy that comes from greatness you already have the potential to create.

So again, Red is right. For the short term find "fire drill" activities that positively transmute your emotional sex energy, like working out. Long term, it is a process of changing your paradigm of habits to support your belief that you are an infinitely unique gift to the world with a specific calling that only you can deliver, and changing your beliefs, and paradigms to support that belief.

I would encourage you to choose to use your emotional sexual energy to change the world rather than dissipating, or wasting or spending it on no intimate physical sex.

Hope this help.