My addiction has been going since I was 11-12 years old. I was living with the people that raised me in a non-christian military home. I have and still do have a love for cartoons(non pornagraphic) and in their home there was a big cabinet full of them on vhs. I had no idea that also in this cabinet I would find hardcore porn and I accidentally put the tape in the vcr one day and could not stop watching it. I started from then on trying to make my way down to the cabinet to find these movies and view them. I would take 2 or 3 and hide them in my room until they were gone, then I would watch them only pausing to eat something. I have lived my teens watching and viewing different tapes, even had some friends watch it with me. It ruined my relationships I had because all I could think about is the different positions I wanted to do and did not care to even get to know the other person.  I had gone years back without thinking of it, or seeing it  because I had no way of accessing it, the urge would not come up. But now since I am in an unhappy marriage and I have been given access to the internet and my own laptop, the urges have gotten worse. I never wanted this to happen to me and I feel so horrible and I hate pleasuring myself to this. I want to stop because it is becoming a very terrible habit and I want my life back but do not know how to regain it. I pray and believe that it gets better but it seems as though it just gets worse and I am not sure what I am doing wrong. I do suffer from anxiety and depression not due to this but it really is not doing me any favors. If anyone has any helpful ideas I am open because I want to get rid of this once and for all!