Sex / Pornography Addiction Support Group
Sexual addiction, also sometimes called sexual compulsion, is a form of psychological addiction to sexual intercourse and other sexual behavior.
So, peeps, got a question for you: Pornography addiction and anger: related? Not related? Anyone have any thoughts or experience with the two? A little background about me: I was first exposed to pornography around the age of 11. I switched to internet pornography, and finally sought help and treatment at the end of February of this year. The anger part doesn't seem to match in terms of timeline. I found myself getting easily frustrated, angry, and would lash out at people and then feel better for awhile. But it would get out of control. Now, earlier this year, as my pornography addiction was getting out of control, so was my anger. I found myself blowing up at the kids over stupid stuff, and even I knew it was getting to be a problem (the angry one is usually the last person to know they are angry). But now I've been seeing a councilor for the last month, and attending a 12 step SAA group meeting for the last 3 weeks, and as my pornography addiction is in recovery, I also find that my anger is also diminishing. My oldest child has informed me on a couple of occasions that I am not as angry as I used to be, and they seem to be a bit happier. But since the timelines of the two things, anger and porn addiction, don't exactly match up, I am not sure if they are related or not.` Thoughts?
I participated in a series of workshops called Alternatives to Violence, that was designed and hosted by Quakers. It taught me to try to reach beyond my first impulse to open to a Higher Power (as in the 12 Steps) for inspiration as to the wisest way to solve a conflict. Between the 12 Steps and AVP I am now much better able to 'act instead of react' to situations.
Sheenre, it looks like you've come a long way. Thanks for sharing.
I hadn't thought of that scripture in a long, long time "Be angry, and not sin." Thank you for sharing that. My faith is the most inportant factor in shaping my life. That's a great one to remember. I had some serious trouble a few years back in determining how to be angry and not sin. Well, I'll always be sinful, but maybe not that way? I hope not. I had been taught to be angry...and certainly sin. I was not only taught to be angry, but violent as well. Not a good combination at all! I had learned decades ago about curbing the violence, thank goodness. But, I hadn't learned how to direct anger to a good cause. I think I'm far better at that task now, thank goodness.
I struggled with that a lot during these last few years, due to the "challenge" and other things. It really took me a good long time to figure it out internally, what seemed to be the right thing, the right path. I really had to determine the differences and connections in the terms forgiveness and enabling. There are some fine lines of distinction there in my mind now. I was always one to forgive readily. And, I can't say that's a bad thing. But, what one does after the forgiving may well be? I certainly would always like to be able to forgive readily, but, I also want to avoid enabling any other to be destructive. Quite a bit of balancing to do there.
I know, for instance that I forgave my Xh, for doing some things that I now certainly view as within the confines of the words Sexual Addict. I forgave him, I wish him a bright path, but there was no chance whatsoever for reconciliation. I knew in my heart of hearts that he would never change his behaviors. And, I knew in my heart of hearts that I could never be happy chained to him and consequently those behaviors. So, I did the best thing, and forgave, and divorced him. That way, I tended both necessary things, my own happiness, and his.
In the case of my current marriage, I have yet to feel that it is entirely hopeless, that my H is not able to cease those behaviors. I have forgiven him, and I have attempted reconciliation too, because I feel it's warranted. It's a lot harder for me to do that, than it is to divorce and carry on my life on a different path. I wanted to be able to forgive him, which I knew I could do; but, I also wanted to be able to reconcile, which I was never sure of. I couldn't be sure of that without some time to observe. Because, were I to find that he is not able to cease, I will not be able to stay. To do so would compromise my internal values, and I'm not willing to do that. It would not serve me well, and certainly wouldn't serve him well. I would lose respect for myself, and he would believe that there are no repercussions for that behavior. I see neither as beneficial or constructive.