I recently broke up with my boyfriend of almost 2 years. We've know each other for 5 and I always had sexual fantacies about him even though he was married. He separated just before we started to date. I thought it was great, I was/am so attracted to him. I would be sexually aroused by the thought of him and now in his presence? well, it's insanse. But I never can/could have an orgasm with him unless I felt like he was a "father figure" a "big guy" on top of me. It's all from childhood sex abuse as an 9 to 11 year old.

Well, it ruined my relationship with him because he was interested in me as a real woman. I was acting in a manner that made him feel "used" and not needing or wanting intimacy. In his words, "you only want to be "f...ed?" he got turned off and broke up with me after 1 and a half years. I did everything to keep him happy except be myself and love myself and be true to my sexuality as an adult woman!

I am devastated. I waited, sort of, for this guy for 5 years. I blew it, with my addicition and I told him all about my past and that did not make a difference! UGH