You can call me Spencer. I'm a 17 year old girl, and I've been addicted to porn for seven years. I've always been curious. Give a curious kid Internet access and the right key words, and you get a little girl watching lesbian sex every night. Well, in my case at least. I'm not even gay. I've been a lot like a guy for a very long time, and this is just one example of that. It became a hobby rather than an urge. I would associate even completely innocent things with sexual jokes or scenarios somehow. When I got a phone, it got even worse. I would watch something just about every night, and I always felt so disgusting after I did it. If I wasn't watching porn, I was playing a porn game, and if I wasn't playing a porn game, I was catfishing people online for dirty conversations. The good feelings that came from a climax were nothing compared to the depression that followed. I believe that this addiction is a large part of why I feel I may be asexual. I've made up my mind to quit, and I've been doing pretty good, but the urge is still there. It looms in the background of my life. I see things like certain YouTube thumbnails, and I'm reminded of the images I lost my innocence to. I hear kids at school making dirty jokes or talking about their latest sexual experiences, and my brain floods with clips I never want to see again. I'm afraid I might regress tonight. I don't even have a particularly powerful urge, I just haven't done it in so long. It feels like my brain is telling me something's missing. Will it ever get easier? How can I keep myself from falling back?