Sex / Pornography Addiction Support Group

Sexual addiction, also sometimes called sexual compulsion, is a form of psychological addiction to sexual intercourse and other sexual behavior.

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discocole 08/13/2019

I'll try to make this brief. Five years ago when I was pregnant with my first child, I discovered that my husband was living a secret sex life behind my back. Porn addiction, Craigslist ads, chatting, dating websites, and physical affairs with random women he met online. He was very remorseful and tearful, begged me to stay married, and promised change. He seemed to do really well for the first few years; he saw a sex addiction counselor and attended group therapy. We seemed to get our relationship back on track and even had our second child. Within the past 1-2 years however, I've noticed he seemed to change. Didn't like attending group therapy. Constant fluctuation of emotions, depression, snapping in anger. Not wanting sex and rejecting me if I expressed interest. I felt the urge to do some spying and discovered that he opened a secret Kik account 1.5 years ago, and found a message from a woman stating that she was angry that after "sending him those pics" that he didn't end up meeting up with her. Clearly he has relapsed and I wouldn't be surprised if there's been cheating. I now have a 4 year old and a 1 year old, and I'm devastated. I've dealt with so much these past five years; the infidelity, dealing with my husband's narcissistic mother and all the drama she causes, raising little kids, my dad dying unexpectedly, ect. I'm seriously considering divorce at this point, but I worry so much about my kids. For those that have been through this, had little kids, and ended up getting divorced...did you end up regretting it? did you move on to a happier place? I feel so damaged that I don't know if I'd ever want to marry anyone else, so then I rationalize...maybe for my kid's sake I should just stay with him then? So confused.

Scaredandafraid 08/13/2019

The problemyou are having is thinking only about the kids sake. What about yours? You don't think they can feel all that that you are? They know more than we think they do. Children of divorce aren't always scarred and damaged goods. I'm a step dad to 2 kids and they are wonderful and still have both parents a part of thier lives. Don't stay in misery because of some unfounded fear that "it will be better for the kids". What's better for the kids is to have a living and supportive parent to teach them to not put up with crap from someone else. Sounds harsh and I'm sorry but sometimes it is what needs to be heard. You don't deserve to put up with it. And you staying only gives the kids the impression that you deal with whatever hand your dealt and that just isn't true

Scaredkitty 08/14/2019

I attend S-Anon (sanon.org), a 12-step meeting for friends and families of sexaholics. Here I learn how to set healthy boundaries and stick with them, take care of myself, and know my part in the addiction. while maintaining a healthy relationship with a lust addict for 4 years.

giaeve 08/14/2019

This is so hard. You gave him a second chance after betrayal. I am proud of you for that. That had to be such an emotional and exhausting season. But now you are potentially back there. I don’t think you have anything to lose just telling him what you found and how you feel. If he hasn’t acted out in adultery and just suffered a relapse, he could get back on track. He may suffer with this addiction forever but it is his to own and overcome. His family is worth fighting through the addiction for. If you do choose to leave, yes it will be a harder life for your kids with two homes, separate parents, divided holidays, plus you don’t get to see them all the time. But you can still make a good life for them. It’s just different. A lot of your situation depends on the repentance of your husband.

Pharrah 08/17/2019

I can't speak for you, but I can honestly say that it would be too much for me, especially after giving him a second chance. I completely understand the desire for wanting to tough things out for the sake of the children, but the other side to that is allowing them to grow up in a home where there is no trust and one (if not both) of the parents are not truly happy and are just suffering in silence. Remember, they're learning how to model their own future after what they see from the both of you, so I guess...imagine what you would tell them to do if they were older and in the same situation themselves?

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