Sex / Pornography Addiction Support Group

Sexual addiction, also sometimes called sexual compulsion, is a form of psychological addiction to sexual intercourse and other sexual behavior.

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/ Sex / Pornography Addiction Support Group

I hate what this is doing to my loved ones

Jneubauer
Jneubauer

Hello everyone 



I’m a 44 year old man with what should be a good life.  I have a wife and kids.  I have a job that’s pretty good. My wife and I are struggling though because for a long time I had online emotional affairs that she found out about six months ago. In the aftermath I came clean about a lot of things and honestly have never been physically intimate with anyone else, but she asked me then about second life and if I was a part of it or was doing it. I told her no. 


At the time I was terrified of every conversation we were having and for whatever reason I told her no, but I had. 


Things for the past six months have been okay.  We have been rebuilding and getting better and had some great days. 


I am on a business trip and she was going through an old laptop and found out that I had been there.  I fessed up t the fact that one of the people I had been in contact with there was one of the women I had been in touch with online as well. 


I am in a really horrible place now and hate myself for what I have done to her. She building trust with me and we told each other very day that we loved each other.  And I still do love her so much.  So so much.  I love my wife.  I haven’t done anything with second life or spoken to other women since then but I do still look at porn I think I do it too much. She knows and said she thinks I have a problem and I think she’s right.


I need to stop.  I need help.  I don’t want to hurt anyone anymore and I want to be able to make her feel better. I want her to heal.  


I don’t know what I expect out of this site.  I am just sitting in a hotel room alone early in the morning and this is the first thing I found looking for help online.  



I hope ole I get better. I hope.....God I hope I can fix this. 




Please. 

ar2257
ar2257
Hey buddy, your first start was opening up about this. It gives you a sense of relief. We are all going through this but the point is to come out winning from this addiction. I have struggled with porn for a long time and I am trying to still break through this. It does take time to come off a habit that is deeply imbedded with in yourself. Try attending group therapy sessions to get a support group around you. It sounds like your wife loves you and you should be honest with her about what this really is, an addiction, a bad habit that you need help with. Keep strong! Keep on praying my friend.
Valediction1
Valediction1
It is an everyday battle, but each day you go without porn is a victory. Although I recently relapsed, my conviction is stronger than ever. The urge, the desire is always there. It’s literally one click away, but I constantly rly remind myself of why I’m doing this: to be a better man for my family. Find your inspiration, surround yourself with it, and begin cleansing your kind. It’ll take time, but it’s worth the effort. I agree with above, since you have a supportive wife, go seek out sex addiction counseling, if you’re able to. Also, having an accountability partner helps, be it your wife, or a close friend. Someone you can trust and confide in. Don’t give up, and you always have this group for support.
reallytrying
reallytrying
Admitting you have a problem is the first step, and it is really really hard. Kudos for taking that step! There are counselors out there who can help, have you looked for one? You could probably find one to help you with porn addiction and your problem with online affairs. They are probably pretty closely tied together. It sounds like you’re trying hard so be proud of yourself for that. I’ve struggled with sex addiction for a long time. You are
Blessed with a good wife who is supportive. My husband tried for a long time but finally just couldn’t take it anymore and left. But I’m not going to give up on myself and neither should you. Come
Back here anytime for support.
alohabbq
alohabbq
@Jneubauer, congratulations on 'admitting' to your wife...that is commendable! Something I could never do, but for me it ended up in disaster, ultimately divorce, for my denial and cowardly fear of rejection. Pornography, as I've learned has the deep rooted desire to fill that empty space in your heart to be wanted and desired, and if that space is not filled with something healthy, then pornography is readily available and gives us that temporary fix. As you know, post the porn binge still has that feeling of inadequacy and emptiness. Just stopping porn, if that space isn't replaced, you'll relapse again and again. We cannot do it alone.
For me, I was devastated so much after divorce and my addiction, that I prayed to God and asked him to take away my sexual desire... He DID! Strange at first, but I didn't have the cravings and/or thoughts anymore. This went for years, till I then dated and remarried. Oh oh... now what..... I prayed to regain my desire...and voila! The intimacy is even greater and satisfying than ever. Hang in there! How can I pray for you?