Sex / Pornography Addiction Support Group

Sexual addiction, also sometimes called sexual compulsion, is a form of psychological addiction to sexual intercourse and other sexual behavior.

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cindy666 05/03/2013

I cancelled the appointment at the sex clinic. I don't know if I want to quit and I don't know if I can face it. I am chatting with two other men from a dating site who want to meet me. I am afraid to meet them and afraid not to. I am sure that makes no sense.

I feel no guilt or shame. I worry about getting caught, catching a disease, putting myself in physical harms way...

The subject of my Intimate Encounter post gets off on the fact that I go home to my husband with his emissions inside me. He does not want me to clean up afterward. When he asks me to come over, he frames it in such a way that it is like I am merely a receptacle. I am hoping I am making my point without being too graphic. I don't want to trigger anyone.

It is degrading, but I will go back again if asked. Why do I still want to see him? He is great in bed. After sex, he talks to me for an hour or more like he does like me and wants to get to know me. Deep down, I know I am nothing to him...

dlansky 05/20/2013

Honestly, I don't see how these situations are different in anything but location. If anything, the park scenario might have safer -- at least someone might here you scream for help.

Did it not occur to you that a complete stranger with an opportunity to get laid just might lie about having a vasectomy and being disease-free?

cindy666 05/20/2013

Yes, of course it did, but he is seeing me on an ongoing basis, so he will get caught eventually if he did lie. In any event, I am 51, have a huge cyst on one ovary and are therefore very unlikely to get pregnant at this stage of the game. The disease-free part is obviously a bit more problematic, as STDs can be silent. I am well aware of that...:(.

deleted_user 05/20/2013

Equivalent situations or not, this illustrates the rapid change in your boundaries. That is progression, plain and simple, and it continues until it stops.

Do you hear that I care enough to persist in telling you this? Do you believe that others can care for you when you're not giving them your body?

cindy666 05/20/2013

Well...if you had asked me if I would go to a stranger's apartment, I would have said no, I agree. After chatting with him, I did agree to meet him and we made a date for the next morning. In the morning, I texted that i was sick and would need a raincheck. I wasn't sick...just a bit stuffed up...but i was afraid to go for all the sensible reasons...He texted back and was so sweet that I did throw caution to the wind. It turned out that my gut instinct was correct. So I don't really know if my boundaries changed, or if it was just this particular man...

Yes, I do believe people can care even if I am not giving them my body. I have many friends that I don't have sex with and I know that they care.

deleted_user 05/20/2013

My OM, the one who strangled me, was as sweet as pie, a veritable knight in shining armor while he was wooing me. I'll bet your Narc was, too, in the beginning. This new guy may talk sweetly to you but what gentleman gets off on you taking his semen home to your husband? That is an act of violating your husband, a man he doesn't know, and getting a kick out of it. Like picking the wings off a fly for entertainment. Look again. I'll bet your instincts missed a few subtleties in the heat of the moment.

cindy666 05/20/2013

Yikes...:(. I don't know what to say to that...:(

deleted_user 05/20/2013

Way off base or just too real?

cindy666 05/20/2013

Not off base...but not something I want to analyze to deeply at the moment, I suppose.

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