I personally have never spent money on porn but i know the struggle and "the need" all too well. Do you understand your compulsion for it? Is there specific times/emotions when you turn to it? For me it was filling a void that my mind created and tied to depression and self esteem issues. Is there something you feel you are lacking that makes you turn to porn so much?

The times I do it is when:
I'm feeling the urge to masturbate and want to see something new
In the mood to have sex with my wife but she's not in the mood
When I want a person to do something for me on one of those chat sites

Do you really feel fulfilled after you masturbated? That's where i realized my problem. I felt empty afterwards. But continued to do it because i thought i was fulfilling a need. I have hobbies to occupy my time and try to utilize those activities more when the moods hit. I don't deprive myself self satisfaction always but i refrain from using porn or chat sites

I do kinda feel empty but not really. I really feel guilty or regret after I buy porn. As for chat site, i feel the intoxicating feeling of sexual urges and power when I'm on there.

First off I’d like to welcome you! This is a huge step that you’ve taken! And you need to be proud of yourself for that! I am proud of you! I have a similar but different experience. I found out 5 hrs ago I am a porn addict. I thought I could handle it on my own. Abstained for periods of time then to slip up but telling myself I allowed myself to do that because I could stop. Ha ya right. I’m happily married for 18 years with 3 children of my own and one step child. Never really understanding the porn was affecting my true happiness. This later (within the past 2 months) have come to realize my porn addiction was more of a sexual addiction. This has almost ended my marriage. With the grace of god, my wife’s unbelievable strength courage and will we are still together. It’s not easy! And the people I have met here at the path have truly been great help and very encouraging. Do your homework. Research the addition and learn as much as you can about it. Knowledge is power! Look up Dr Robert Weiss. His podcasts and YouTube videos are very good. Plus he is pro marriage which is an absolute must for me anyways. Stay strong, own your addiction. Take care of yourself

Welcome! I feel transparency and accountability are a big help to me. Thanks for reaching out.

Be encouraged that you are not alone, and you can beat this!